Annarion nodded. “You think there’s a connection.”
“I think the Erenne markisn’tbased around True Words, True Names. But the Barrani don’t wake at birth without their Names. Look, I sort of understand why the Erenne mark upsets you so much. And I get that maybe, because I didn’t understand how they were used historically, it didn’t upset me.”
“It didn’t upset you because you didn’t want to die.” Annarion’s tone was flat. “You would have accepted it because you didn’t think you had any other choice.”
“Does it matter? It’s onmycheek. I didn’t understand what it would mean to the Barrani until the Barrani Hawks saw it.”
“They were unhappy?”
“Teela wasfurious. The rest of the Hawks were just outraged. But I don’t think their outrage would lead to a concerted attack by a couple of war bands.”
“It didn’t,” Annarion said, voice soft. “Maybe it’s because you didn’t know—but I can’t understand your lack of anger.”
“It’s saved my life,” she said, her voice as soft as Annarion’s. “I don’t live in the fief anymore. I’m not living at the whim of hunting Ferals and Nightshade’s thugs. I have enough to eat. I have a roof over my head—and it’s a better roof, or at least a safer one, than my first apartment. I have a job I love. I... haven’t really thought about Nightshade very much for a while now. And when I do, there’s not a lot of anger unless I start comparing his rulership of Nightshade with Tiamaris’s rule of Tiamaris.”
“Then you’re angry?”
“I don’t think I would have lived such a desperate, miserable life if I’d been an orphan in Tiamaris—and the fief of Barren was worse than Nightshade when I first arrived. It made me understand that those streets, that near starvation, the possibility of becoming just another meal for Ferals—those were allchoices. I mean, Nightshade and Barren didn’treleasethe Ferals, but they made no plans to protect their citizens from them, either.
“They didn’t care if the buildings in the fief were run-down and dangerous; they didn’t care if people came to prey on those too helpless to defend themselves. When I was in those streets, I didn’texpectanyone to care, either. I knew that I had nothing—and people with nothing have to figure out a way to fight, or cheat, or steal, to survive.
“That was just the way it was. It didn’t occur to me that it didn’t have to be that way until I made it across the Ablayne.Until I joined the Hawks. Even then, I thought the fiefs were just different—I knew they weren’t considered a part of the empire. But Tiamarisisa fieflord, and his fief is nothing like Barren’s.
“The things I’m angry about—when I think about them at all—are things like that. I think about the life I could have had. Would I have been guaranteed to be safe? Hells no. If people were trustworthy all the time, we wouldn’t need Hawks. But it would have beenbetter. And I don’t want to get angry with the cohort because, except for Sedarias, none of you—who were fed, and safe from weather and Ferals and pimps—had a choice, either.
“But until you had no choice—” No. This wasn’t the time or place. “Look, I don’t want helplessness and misery to become a competitive sport, okay? I do resent the life I lived after my mother died. But Ihatethe choicesI madefar more than anyone else’s. I hate the fief because I felt I could justify choices that... aren’t justifiable. They just aren’t. They’reunderstandable. But... I hate that I made them.
“And that’s not on your brother. But if I could demandone thingfrom him, it would be that he view the citizens of his fief as actual people.”
“What makes you think he doesn’t?”
“Did I not just tell you?”
Annarion seemed genuinely confused. It was Mandoran who came to his rescue. Or Kaylin’s rescue; it wasn’t entirely clear.
“You know what Barrani consider political, right?”
She nodded. She was looking at the results of that.
“Barrani tend to view people as enemies, allies, or entirely irrelevant. The people in his fief couldn’t rise to the level of enemy, and they had no useful power, so they couldn’t be considered allies. They were invisible because they were powerless; they weren’t a threat. The idea that one protects the helpless and powerless does exist—but you hate it.”
“I don’t—”
“You hate the statuary. Some mortals like cats. Mrs. Erickson likes them. But they do not think of their cats as equals.”
Kaylin, having seen cat owners in the office, could have argued the point, but didn’t.
“If you wish Nightshade to understand the changes Tiamaris has made, you will need to convince him that those people have valueaspeople. And you will come up against the Barrani culture, over and over again.”
“You disagree with me?”
Mandoran shook his head. “I don’t. But I don’t see people as inherently precious, either. Nor do most of the mortals I’ve met who have actual power. Maybe it’s just the nature of power. Those who have it. Those who don’t. We strive for power—well, most of us—because it’s only when wehavepower that we have relative safety.
“Even Teela.”
Kaylin looked up. “But I didn’t even know Teela was a Lord of the High Court. For years. She protects me because we’re friends—but being a Hawk isn’t about your friends or even your enemies. It’s supposed to be even-handed. It’s supposed to be about the law.”
“Well, it’s run bypeople. It’s never going to be perfect.”