Annoyance filtered into his tone.Of course.
And she still wants us to show up?
That is her expressed preference.
Were youlisteningwhen I went in to save Terrano?
Silence for a beat.I was.
Fine, then. Kaylin was only theoretically a Lord of the BarraniHigh Court, but she had many reasons for not wanting to tick off the Consort.You know there’s no way I’m going to be able to ditch Teela, right?
Ynpharion’s annoyance grew.An’Teela. She is An’Teela, one of the most powerful Lords of the High Court. Her existence demands respect.
Not at work, it doesn’t.
Helen was waiting at the door. She often did this, because she knew it was important to Kaylin to have family to come home to. Today, however, she was looking both worried and almost militant.
“Terrano arrived,” she said as Kaylin leaned in for a hug. “His pallor is terrible, but he’s hiding it by being ever so slightly out of phase. And he carried word—” She looked down at Kaylin as they separated, her eyes slightly narrowed. They’d lost their normal appearance; they were black, with flecks of moving color.
“I suppose it would be too much to ask you to be careful?” Helen’s expression was resigned.
“Terrano—”
“Yes, dear, I know. I am fond of him, and I am grateful that you managed to save his life. But he is now putting your life at risk because he is foolish and thinks caution is a word that belongs in a different language. To be clear, that language would be one he doesn’t speak.”
Helen was fussing. Kaylin leaned into it, the way she leaned into Caitlin’s concern. Some people—Teela, prime example—hated being mothered. Kaylin wondered if she would ever become one of them. Maybe she would if the people who expressed concern treated her like a young child.
Maybe she’d accept even that. She wasn’t a child anymore, but some part of her—abandoned by death, and responsible for causing more of it—might never grow up.
“As long as it is just a small part,” Helen said softly, “preserve it as you can. But never let it drive you, Kaylin. Never let it become the voice for all that you are.” Her hand cupped Kaylin’s cheek. “You’ve done that once. You’ve followed that path. It almost destroyed you.
“I do not wish to see you walk that path again.”
Kaylin swallowed, leaning into the warmth of Helen’s hand. “I thought I had nothing, then.”
“Yes, I know. Perhaps our lives—all of them, building or human or Barrani—are defined in the end not by what we have, but by what we value, what we struggle so mightily to protect. You could have become anything; you became a Hawk. Your early life could have defined you.
“I have met people—yes, even as a building—who became what had scarred them. The lessons they learned from the lives they had been subjected to when they had no power defined the worth of power. Not of people. Not of hope. But of power.”
“...like Barrani?”
“Very like Barrani. But before we continue in that vein, Nightshade cares for his brother, and his brother—angry and disappointed—cares for him. The cohort care for each other; they have built their lives around that. Perhaps, had they never been imprisoned within the Hallionne, they would not have made that choice. But the past cannot be changed, and could it, they would not.”
“I’d change parts of mine.”
“Yes. But the cohort are much older than you; they understand that they cannot change only parts of the past without distorting the whole of its fabric. And perhaps, if I could go back in time, I would change some parts of mine as well. When we are struggling, when we are desperate, our fear and pain guide us. But it is not agoodguide, and oft leaves regret and self-loathing in its wake. And I have wandered, as I often do. Come. Come in. Terrano is waiting.”
“Is it safe for me to enter the house?”
“It will always be safe for you. But if you refer to what you somehow picked up, I am taking precautions. It has clearly not caused damage to you.”
“Can you sense it?” Kaylin asked as she pulled away.
“Barely, and the trace is so faint I am certain I would not be able to sense it at all if I was not fully aware of what transpired.”
“Could you take it from me?”
Hope squawked.