“No, but it wouldn’t be. The dead are still alive in some fashion within the Tha’alaan. We can see the whole of their lives.” She sat in one of the two chairs that fronted Elluvian’s mostly unused service desk. “Mirror, off.”
“Authority?” the mirror said, although no image broke its reflective surface.
“Ybelline Rabon.”
The mirror made no further inquiries or reply.
Severn then knelt in front of her chair, straightening his upper body. “Will this be easier for you?” he asked. Her eyes lost hazel, adopted gold.
“You are unlike your kin,” she said. “Yes. It will make things easier. I did not lie to Elluvian or my kin. I do not know how long this will take. I have found relevant Tha’alani deaths within the time frame you specified. I have found no contact with Barrani, no hint of their presence within the Tha’alaan. But I am not a Hawk; I am an investigator in title only. I am not entirely certain what you would consider suspicious circumstances.”
“If you have the memories of the men and women who died—”
She shook her head, reached out, and brushed strands of dark hair from his forehead. “I will show you what I’ve found. You will see it, briefly, as I see it, but it will become your experience and viewpoint. I am not certain I have the information you requested, but I’ve done my best on my own. I require your help.”
Severn nodded. He didn’t apologize again, nor did he ask if she would be all right. She had made clear that this was the choice she had made, and if it was the best choice among a host of bad choices, it was still hers.
For her part, she was afraid only of traumatizing him. He felt that fear the moment she placed her slender antennae against his forehead.
The fear was for, not of, and it felt a lot like warmth.
Can you get confused?he asked, almost without intent.
Between who I am and who you are?
Yes.
No. If we could, the Tha’alaan would be far more of a dangerous place for us. Did you feel, the first time, that you were somehow me?
He shook his head, and felt her amusement.Don’t move your head so much—I’ll lose contact.
Sorry.
This will be a little bit like your Records.
Is that what it was like for you? The Tha’alaan.
No—but the Tha’alaan can be frightening for your kin. I will hold information, and I will answer your questions. It won’t be exact—but this was the best option I could choose in the time allotted. You must understand that this is new for me, as well; it is not my usual function as part of the Imperial Service.
From the Wolflord’s reaction, you don’t generally function as part of the Imperial Service.
Not generally, no.There was a thickness in the thought, a hesitance, as if it came from a great distance.But that is not my role in the Tha’alanari in general. Only in emergencies am I free to act, to pick up the burden that my companions face daily.
I’m grateful that it was you.
Yes. But Severn, you are unusual. If my kin weren’t so burdened with those whose lives they have viewed at Imperial command, I do not think contact with you would have injured them. They disagree, of course. Experience scars and shapes us all. It’s hard to focus on a single task when you’re here like this.
Why?He didn’t ask the question. It was a thought, like any other thought, something he tucked away for consideration, should more information come to light. She could hear it. She could hear it all.
Yes. That’s why we’re hated and feared by your kind. What they don’t understand is thatwehear it all, all the time; to us it’s natural. The reason it’s difficult for me is that I have a task. I have to operate in the confines of that given task, with all of the necessary security precautions. It’s much easier to separate our own thoughts from the Tha’alaan than it is to separate our thoughts from someone we’re in contact with.
Severn stilled.
What are you doing?
He didn’t answer. He could feel a curiosity tainted by fear, but it was distant now.
After a silent pause, Ybelline began.