“I am less certain—but from what I have learned, both of your kind and of the Barrani, it seems the most logical explanation. It is a good thing that I am capable of containing my thoughts,” although she spoke softly, her eyes were green. “My people would be dismayed or horrified by the thoughts I have just had.”
“You want him dead.”
“I want to kill him with my own hands,” she replied serenely. “A sign, among our kin, of dangerous instability.”
“And the other Tha’alanari?”
“This work can destroy us if we are not careful,” she replied. “It is the reason Garadin was so emphatic—even if he should know by now it has the opposite of the intended effect on Helmat. What I do know, however, is that the desire is a dark dream, a terrible undercurrent of anger. I will never be allowed to set eyes on the perpetrator. I will never be allowed to kill him.”
He understood the men and women who wanted to protect Ybelline. He understood Helmat’s visceral refusal. But he thought, listening to her, watching her breathe, that they were wrong.
“Let me tell you why we are not allowed to interact with the Immortals. If mortals have guilty secrets and the fear of those secrets being revealed, they have accumulated only a single life’s worth of such. Their lives, as ours, are not endless.
“The Barrani have far more time, and therefore more secrets. They do not appear to feel guilt as we understand it; secrets cover weaknesses. They fear to be weak—it is seen as death. It is why I believe you might be correct. But I think it impossible that a connection to the Tha’alaan would be made without being heavily noted.”
“One of the Tha’alanari, perhaps?”
Her nod was almost invisible. “Or one who might well become Tha’alanari. There is a childish pleasure in knowing that youcankeep secrets, if you have that capability—that the thoughts and notions you have can be hidden.”
“You think a child might have made this contact?”
“Not a child, but not—quite—an adult.” Her eyes remained closed. “I am searching now, but Scoros was correct: this is not Records. If I wished to ask the people in the Tha’alaan about a specific event, those closer to the memory might offer me figurative directions. I cannot, for obvious reasons, ask. But the easiest memories to find are those bound to other, similar memories—it’s like following a city street or road.”
“And this is like trying to find a footpath in a forest?”
“Similar, yes, but in this case we’re not completely certain the footpath exists.”
Severn fell silent. Minutes passed as he watched expressions flicker across her face. “If the person who made contact with the Barrani were to keep this information entirely from the Tha’alaan, would this memory be lost with them if they died?”
“Yes.”
He rose. “I can’t help you search.”
She shook her head.
“Will you send a message to the Halls of Law—or the Wolflord—when you have an answer?”
“I might not find the answer you seek.”
“Which is also an answer.”
She opened her eyes; they were hazel now. “Yes. If I can find nothing, I will send that message. If I can find something, I will visit in person.”
Severn returned to an office that, over the course of less than a week, had become familiar. It wasn’t home, but home had never been a physical location to him, he’d been forced to move so often. He didn’t have an office, as the Wolflord did, but neither did Mellianne. Rosen had an office that never saw use. Since her injury had made it difficult to run—or to fight well—she’d taken up residence behind the desk that faced the doors through which any visitor, high or low, arrived.
Rosen looked up as the doors opened, her brows dipping when she saw Severn. “You’re a popular young man today,” she said curtly. “There are messages for you, which you’ll see after you’ve attended his highness.” At Severn’s expression, she exhaled. “Helmat.”
“You call him ‘his highness’?”
“Depends on how much of a pain he’s been—but today, he’s earned it. He’s waiting for you in his office.”
He could wait a few more minutes. “I have a favor to ask.”
Both of her brows rose. “Go on.”
“When the murders of the Tha’alani occurred, they must have been investigated.”
She nodded.