JJ steps between us and pushes us closer together. I mean physically. She pulls us to our feet, grabs me by the arm and nudges Jake’s shoulder until we’re standing far too close for comfort.
‘Okay,’ JJ says. ‘You’re at an event. Someone has just congratulated you on your engagement. Where do your hands go?’
‘Erm… I don’t know… on my chest?’ I ask.
‘I thought we were avoiding those?’ she jokes – she knows I meant on my heart. ‘Anyway, incorrect. Jake?’
‘Uh. On her… arm?’ he asks.
JJ nods.
‘Okay. Good start. Do that,’ she commands.
He hesitates, glancing at me.
‘Is that okay?’ he asks.
‘Fine,’ I say, trying not to swallow louder than an explosion.
He places his hand lightly on my arm. It should feel weird. It does feel weird, in a way but, I don’t know, it also feels… oddly natural. Warm, reassuring, nice.
‘Whit, you’re too stiff. Loosen up,’ JJ commands. Because historically relaxing is as simple as someone just telling you to do it.
Jake shifts, his thumb brushing my arm as he finds a comfortable spot again.
My stomach flips traitorously.
‘There it is,’ JJ says. ‘You look like you want each other – good work.’
I didn’t realise I was doing anything…
‘Now, eye contact,’ she commands.
Jake looks at me. I look at him. It’s not awkward at all, which is somehow even more confusing than if it was.
JJ makes a small, satisfied noise.
‘Ahh. Perfect.’
I tear my gaze away. I don’t know why, but something about it feels… something.
‘This is crazy,’ I say with a laugh, styling it out.
‘And effective,’ JJ replies. ‘Now, social media. We don’t need much. One or two soft posts. Casual. I can help you take some photos, make it look like you’ve been together a long time.’
‘What’s a soft post?’ Jake asks.
‘Nothing too obvious,’ JJ replies. ‘Nothing that looks like a thinly veiled press release. Just slow and steady evidence of your love. Drinking coffee. Walking. Laughing. Maybe baking.’
Jake blinks.
‘Baking?’
‘It’s wholesome,’ JJ says. ‘And men who can bake are so hot.’
I rub my temples.
‘I cannot believe this is my life,’ I blurt.