Chase jumps at the chance to get out of my line of fire. He nods over at Maverick. “It wasn’t easy. You two were tough to keep up with. I almost missed you heading into East Jersey. I had to backtrack and only just made it past the border patrol in time to be vetted and invited to the auction.”
Yeah. I’ve got a lot of questions about that. I guess, if he told Darryl he was willing to play by his rules—and, in the before times, Chase was always the type of guy to do that—he could be invited to act as another set of muscle in East Jersey, especially after how they threw that dark-haired man away the night before.
That’s still a lot of dumb luck, and maybe I’m being bitter and pissed that he risked himself as much as he did, but I’m also kind of surprised he made it this far on his own with only the few injuries he visibly has.
And that’s my point. He got lucky, and luck runs out for all of us. Way I see it, that’s all the more reason for him to go back to the Grave before our journey gets even more dangerous.
I turn to him. “Chase?—”
“So, I was thinking,” Maverick cuts in, like the idea just popped into his head and it’s so important, he needs to interrupt me to get it out, “since you’ve made it this far already, maybe you should join us the rest of the way. You’d be a real asset, going after the nest with us.”
What?
No, no, no.
The casual mention of Audrey earlier hadn’t done shit to help my mood. Add that to the fact that Maverick has just invited Chase to New York and I’m so furious, I want to spit nails at him.
I point at Maverick. “No.”
“Xandra—”
I don’t even know which one says my actual name. My blood is pounding in my ears so it could be either. “I saidno. We get these cuffs off, then he heads back.”
“I can’t.”
Yes. He can. “Go back to the Grave, Chase.”
His jaw goes tight. “You need me here.”
What would have happened if Chase hadn’t shown up in time to “win” me? Maverick would’ve let that convict buy me with a carton of cigarettes to save his precious gun, even if he did waste one of his bullets for us. Chase… he sacrificed anantidote. Hell, he was willing to do whatever it took to protect me, even going so far as to attempt to “consummate” our union with Darryl rubbing one out in the same room.
I have no doubt in my mind that he’ll have my back. I believe that to the marrow of my bones. If for no reason other than for the love he still has for my twin, he’ll protect me to his last breath.
And that’s why I can’t let him.
“You should’ve stayed back home,” I mutter under my breath, knowing I’m fighting a losing battle, but desperate to try anyway. “You never should’ve followed me to the Outside.”
“There isn’t anywhere I won’t follow you to, Holden. The risks don’t bother me. The thought of losing you does.”
No.No. He doesn’t get to pull that. He doesn’t get to put his reckless behavior and the amount of danger he was in on me.
I’m already the reason that my twin was put in the ground. I absolutely refuse to cause Chase’s death next.
“Maybe, but I didn’t want you to come after me. Do you get that? I don’t want you here, Chase. So why the fuck would you stay?”
His cocky smile dies, replaced by that wounded puppy-dog stare het gets as his face falls before snapping into a flat expression, hiding his hurt from me.
Fuuuuucck. I really am a heartless bitch, aren’t I?
I can’t help myself. All he wanted to do was keep me safe, and I bit his head off for it.
Worse, I might’ve done a little more damage to his heart.
“Okay,” I relent. “I think I went a little too far with that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not right. It’s dangerous here, but it’s just as dangerous back home. The Grave needs you.”
“You need me more.”
I ignore that. “Does Jack even know you’re here?”