Eunhye nodded her head slowly.
“Jihoon?” Dahye said.
“And you.”
“And me?” Dahye asked, surprised. “What about me?”
“I needed to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?”
“Hyukjoon.”
“Hyukjoon? Why would you need to warn me? I can handle my—”
“Shh.” Eunhye touched two clammy fingers to her sister’s lips, and Dahye closed her mouth. “Let me talk. I’ve been trying to protect you. But I couldn’t. Hyukjoon—he hurt you, and I couldn’t warn you in time. I’m sorry …”
It was the first time Dahye had ever heard Eunhye apologize. It caught her off guard. There was a prolonged silence, and then Dahye felt memories come flooding back to her. The diary, that last day, how Eunhye had fled the apartment, how she had died alone. Afraid. Dahye bowed her head. All of the regret and remorse she had been suppressing tumbled out, like water bursting through a dam and crashing into a deep valley below.
“I’m the one who should be sorry.” Tears leaped into Dahye’s eyes. She let them fall, dripping down her cheeks one by one. “By the time I realized what I had done, it was too late. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Unni. It was my fault. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Eunhye wrapped her arm around her, and Dahye began to sob. They sat like that for a long time. Water dripped steadily from the vent, the sound filling the bathroom.
“Do you remember when we went to Jeju?” Dahye suddenly asked. “We saw the haenyo, and you told me that’s what you wanted to do. To swim. To float.”
Eunhye smiled, closing her eyes. “Yes,” she breathed.
“And do you remember the time when I stole a bottle of soju from our parents and drank it with Bora? You found out, and you made us beg for forgiveness, and then you told them anyway.”
“That was mean of me.”
“It was.” Dahye wiped her cheeks. “I was always so jealous of you. I thought you hated me.”
“Hate you? Never. I love you. I have always loved you.” A gurgling sound came from Eunhye’s throat. “If anything, I was jealous.”
“Jealous?” Dahye asked. “Why would you be jealous of me?”
“Because I thought your life was easy. They wanted so much from me. I didn’t want to let them down. I thought it was unfair that you did whatever you wanted, that nobody cared.”
All those years Eunhye had spent without a moment to herself. How exhausting it must have been. How alone she must have felt. Dahye thought about the Mariana Trench and the bizarre creatures that lived at the bottom. When they were brought to the surface, they retained none of their usual forms because the change in pressure caused them to collapse. Now she wondered what it was like for Eunhye to wander aimlessly, never able to rest. Her sister sounded so tired.
Dahye looked at her.
“I’ve always loved you, too.”
+
Dahye woke up on the bathroom floor, curled up in a puddle of water. Her neck was stiff. Bora stood above her with a worried expression. “Did you sleep here the whole night?” she asked.
Dahye groaned, pushing herself into a seated position. “I guess so.”
“Are you feeling alright?” Bora pressed her warm hand against Dahye’s forehead. “You don’t look good. Did you have bad dreams?”
Dahye thought about Eunhye’s bloated, blue-tinged skin and damp hair, and her eyes flickered toward the vent. Something hidden deep inside gave off a faint red glimmer. A few droplets of water trickled out from the corner. “No,” Dahye replied. “No dreams.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I was thinking about what you said last night, and I think you’re right.”
“Right about what?”
“Going to the police.”