Jaxon thumped his cup. “No, not once. I need you to get to the point.”
“That is the point. Correct me if I’m wrong, but she accepted with all that darkness and rage still there, isn’t that true as well?
“It’s one of the things that makes me love her even more, makes me want to protect her from all that junk I’m carrying around inside me.”
“I think your problem is that you can’t accept that she’s just like you, doesn’t want to change you, wants you to accept that she has her own darkness and anger, that just like you’re not the same person you were eight years ago, neither is she.”
Jaxon let the words sink in. Had he really been treating Tazzy the way everyone else had been treating him? Like she could just pick up where they left off and be the person she was after eight years?
Fuck. Ravage was right. That’s exactly what he’d been doing. But he’d had his reasons. “She thinks she knows what she’s asking for, but she doesn’t. All the rage inside me now? Even if you’re right, I can’t risk taking that shit out on Tazzy. I won’t do that.” So… what, he was supposed to ignore something she might want?
“I get you. That’s not what I’m saying. There are times to release that rage, and times to keep in lock up tight. Sounds like you just proved you could do that. Were you even tempted to beat her bloody? Did it even occur to you?”
Jaxon’s back snapped straight. “Fuck no,” He growled.
“Damn right you didn’t. Play and anger don’t mix. You already know that, and you keep yourself in control. There are times she’ll want that, and you give her that play. But that rage is a tool, just like anything else.”
“It’s a poor excuse for a tool.”
“I see you think that. But say the General never lets go of this grudge match he’s got going with you. To the General, Tazzy’s a pawn in his fucked up game. One he thinks he can use against you. You can bet there’s a hell of a lot more coming than the shit he’s pulled so far before this is over. You’re doing the right things by keeping her close and staying sharp. She’s doing the same thing, only the one she’s taking care of is you. What is it you think she sees when she looks at you?”
“I have no fucking clue. Seems to me, I’m a bad bet.”
“That’s what I’m talking about. What you see as your darkness, she sees as strength and safety.”
“She won’t if I harm her.”
“The only way you harm her is by not being real and giving her a chance to do the same. Is that darkness and rage in you? Fuck yes. But you use it to keep her safe. You kept that from touching her. You channel that rage, handle the threats, and you do it away from her. That part of life does not touch her. She only feels the protection and the freedom to be herself. And, newsflash, buddy, your girl is darker, too. You avoiding that is what will really harm her.”
Well, fuck. Jaxon made a mental note to only ask Ravage’s advice when he’d eaten his Wheaties. But damn if the man didn’t make sense. And was enough of a friend to tell him what he needed to hear.
They talked for over an hour. Jaxon shared more about the chase and the way the black SUV had pushed his control to the limit. Ravage told stories from his own past that mirrored the weight Jaxon carried. The conversation shifted from advice to something easier. They swapped thoughts on bikes and good whiskey and the best way to handle a tail. Laughter crept in at the edges. Jaxon realized this was the start of a real friendship. Not just an alliance against a common threat, but two men who understood each other.
By the time he finished his second cup, the tension in his shoulders had eased. He knew the road ahead stayed dangerous. The General wouldn’t just fade away. When he looked at the whole picture objectively, it hit him. He had another brother at his back now and a girl at home who trusted him with every part of her. Including her own brand of darkness.
“Thanks for the meet,” Jaxon said.
Ravage clapped him on the shoulder. “Anytime, brother. Go home to your little one. She needs you now more than ever.”
Jaxon drove back through the dark streets running everything they had talked about over and over in his mind. Pulling back up to the house, he was gratified to see everything quiet. Law gave him a nod from the porch, waiting for Jaxon to take off his helmet before lowering his guard.
“Thanks for keeping a watch, bro.”
“No problem. Hopefully, it won’t be long before the General is adistant memory. I texted Reid, and it looks like the security equipment will be in on time.”
Law disappeared into the night. Jaxon locked up and slipped back into bed.
Tazzy stirred and pressed closer without waking. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent. The day replayed in his mind. The laughter with the Musketiaras. The terror of the chase. The way she had deliberately pushed him at home so he could release the anger safely.
He closed his eyes and held her. Tomorrow would bring new battles, but tonight she rested safe in his arms. That was enough to carry him through whatever came next.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Jaxon stood behind the one-way mirror with his arms crossed tight over his chest. The observation room felt too small for the amount of anger he carried. Ezra and Raleigh stood on either side of him while they waited for the men to arrive. Not that he didn’t already know both of them were guilty as hell, but so far, neither one had slipped up.
Ezra glanced over at him. “You can watch through the mirror, but if you interrupt the interviews, I’ll throw you out myself. I mean it, Jaxon. This is my station, and we do things by the book here.”
Jaxon gave a single nod. “I’ll stay quiet. I’m here to learn anything I can about what they’re planning.