It had gutted him. Ripped something precious out of his chest. But he’d done it anyway because the General’s threat had been crystal clear. One word of Jaxon fighting the charges, and Tazzy would disappear. A car accident or a random mugging gone wrong, and she would be dead.
The fucking bastard had smiled when he said it. And Jaxon believed him. If his Sabre brothers had been back in Darling, he’d have told the General to go fuck himself. But at that time, they weren’t. Not yet.
He recognized evil and crazy, even before prison. Evil was bad enough. Crazy was out of his control, especially when he was stuck behind bars. Sending her away had hurt her, but he’d done it to keep her safe, keep her out of the General’s line of sight.
And it had worked. His silence at the trial had kept her alive. Later, his solitude in prison had guaranteed she’d stay that way. It didn’t matter that a part of him died that day.
Real love meant protecting her, even from himself. And he lovedTaziana Thomas with everything inside him. Now, he was back in town. Every square inch of this place still carried memories of her.
If he really loved her, he’d leave Darling, Tennessee right now. Leave her to the life she’d rebuilt without him. She deserved peace, something she wouldn’t find with him. Not even close.
She deserved so much better than the tattooed, cynical man he was now. Find someone who didn’t carry the kind of darkness that stained every part of him.
Seeing her again would only drag her back into his shit. Yet the thought of walking away made his throat close. He’d missed her every single day. Missed the way her laugh used to cut through his quiet moods. Missed the soft press of her body curling into his. Missed calling her his Little girl, his sprite, and watching her melt under the words.
He’d survived prison without her by shutting down that part of himself, but now that he was out… now that he was home… that part of him was waking up. And even though a real man, a real Daddy, might be strong enough to leave, he wasn’t going to. He couldn’t walk away from her again.
Whatever happened when he finally saw her again, he couldn’t say. What he did know was that he was in her life to stay. Even if she told him to go, which was likely, he wasn’t sure he could. The fact that she was still unattached was something his brothers had ‘slipped in’ almost every time they’d visited, so who knows what might happen.
Old habits die hard after all, he had found that out on the way back to Darling. Almost automatically he’d started clocking the license plates on passing cars. He scanned the faces in oncoming trucks and mentally mapped out exit plans for every street out of town that he could remember. His old attention to detail and threat assessment was reasserting itself.
And now he’d made it to the infamous Sabre Security warehouse he’d heard so much about. The brick building in front of him was familiar, but the neon sign flashing the words Deep Dive Bar was new. Before he’d gone into prison, it had just been another old warehouse,a term his brothers had still used when they discussed it with him lately.
Ravage waited in the SUV for him to make a move. What was he supposed to do, just walk in and order a drink? It was almost noon after all.
Without turning his gaze from the building, he said, “Thirsty?”
The man snorted and killed the engine. A man of few words. Jaxon could appreciate that.
Ravage stepped out from behind the wheel and stood with Jaxon looking at the building. “I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but this will pass. Not sayin’ it’ll be the normal you remember, but it’ll be a damn sight better than what you’re feelin’ now.”
With that Ravage walked to the entrance. Jaxon watched him go inside the bar. His brothers were in there, probably wondering when he was going to come in. Truth was, he didn’t want to go in. He wanted to find his Harley and ride until he found a place where no one knew his name or history.
Instead, he heard the gravel crunch underneath his boots as he walked to the building, instinctively scanning the area for anything or anyone suspicious. Tensing, he reached for the door, just as it swung open.
Reid filled the doorway, wearing the same gruff expression he’d always worn. Jaxon just stood looking at him as if Reid were a mirage or a trick of the light. Reid stepped forward and grabbed him, drawing him into a bear hug and slapping his back, before standing back and looking him over.
Obviously, Reid hadn’t missed the way Jaxon’s hands automatically clenched into fists. His friend’s hands were still on Jaxon’s shoulders when he growled, “Took you long enough.”
With a smirk, Jaxon shrugged. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that, man.”
It was a minute or two before his eyes adjusted to the dark room. His pulse ticked up a beat as he looked around, taking in every place someone could hide. He had to remind himself that wasn’t necessary here. The only people there were his brothers.
For just a moment, he allowed himself to hope that Tazzy wouldbe here too, joyfully welcoming him home. She wasn’t, forcing him to swallow some real disappointment. Still, it was good to see his brothers in a normal setting instead of behind a plexiglass barrier. “Normal” left a weird taste in his mouth. How long would that last?
Hutch stood behind the bar, arms folded, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers. Gage sat on one of the barstools, boots propped on the footrest that once might have been gold but was now too scuffed to tell. Deke stood near the jukebox, shoulders relaxed but eyes sharp. Law paced near the pool table, restless energy rolling off him. Connor stood by the windows, arms crossed, watching the street below. Sawyer sat at the head of the bar, laptop closed in front of him.
They all turned when Jaxon walked in, then burst out in applause and whoops of joy. Jaxon breathed deep and managed to hide his automatic flinch at the sudden noise.
“Welcome home, brother.” Said Hutch.
Gage pushed off his seat and crossed the room in three strides. He pulled Jaxon into a hard, back-slapping hug. “Been too damn long.”
Next he felt a strong grip on his shoulder, he couldn’t mistake that grip for anyone but Deke “Good to see you upright.”
Low key and subtle as Jaxon had remembered him, Law stopped pacing long enough to tell him he looked like shit.
Jaxon was about to respond in kind when Connor stepped forward and offered a firm handshake. “We’ve got your six, brother.”