She lashed out, sharp, cutting. “I’m not in the mood, Suzi! Not today!”
Stomping into the alley behind the shop, she opened the black leather saddlebag purse strapped around her hips and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She had carried them for eight years without ever lighting one.
If she was going to change, she was going to change all the way. The one thing she had never been able to bring herself to do was smoke. It always seemed like a step too far.
She had spent the last eight years pretending she didn’t need to adhere to boundaries no one was there to set. Eight years of working on being independent and strong. And now he was back, bringing uncertainty and confusion with him.
Come to think of it, the knowledge of how he would react was all the reason she needed to smoke one. That would show him.
She turned the cigarette pack over in her hands, trying to figure out how to open it. Yes, she knew it was stupid. Yes, she’d always made it this far and chickened out. But today was the day. She didn’t have a Daddy anymore, so who cared if she started smoking or not?
She opened the pack and tapped on the bottom to work a cigarette free. This was stupid, but something inside her wanted to test her limits, so she did it anyway. She brought it to her lips.
Pulling the lighter out of her purse next, she clicked the roller and lit the flame. How did this work? Should she inhale first or wait tillthe cigarette was burning? This was silly. She didn’t have to do this to prove anything.
“If you know what’s good for you, little girl, you’ll put that back,” a voice said from the shadows.
Jaxon.
She jumped, dropping the cigarette and lighter. Jaxon stepped out of the shadows, a dangerous smirk curling his lips. He’d followed her to work. Because, naturally, he couldn’t just leave her alone.
“I don’t have to listen to you anymore,” she said, squatting down to pick up the lighter and cigarette. But her pulse was racing. Why was she so excited... alive for the first time in eight years?
Because she was insane, that’s why. Her panties were damp with her arousal, as if even more proof of her insanity was needed.
“You’re right,” he said softly. “But if you don’t, I’m going to spank you so hard, you’ll be able to light that cigarette on your ass.”
Heat flared low in her belly… shock, outrage, and something dangerously close to desire. Damn him.
She smiled, a tiny spark of rebellion flickering.
Then he added calmly, “And in case you need reminding… I never lie.”
And that was the problem. She did remember. With Jaxon, his words weren’t a threat. They were a promise.
She put the cigarette back in its pack. “I wasn’t planning on smoking it anyway,” she muttered, snapping the pack shut and tossing the cigarettes into the dumpster along with the lighter.
Fortunately, the door was right behind her. She turned her back on him and flounced back inside, leaving him where he stood. She couldn’t get his words out of her head.
At least he was honest. He never lied. If he said he would spank her, he would. Eight years apart be damned. Did that mean if he said he hadn’t replied to her letters to protect her... then maybe, just maybe, he meant that too.
CHAPTER FIVE
The alley behind Books-N-Brews reeked of stale coffee, damp brick, and poor choices. Jaxon lingered long after Tazzy left, fixating on the spot where she had been as if he could pull her back just by sheer force of will. Like if he stared hard enough, he could rewind time. Back to before the distance, before the hurt, before he became the man she didn’t recognize anymore.
She’d been about to smoke a cigarette. His girl was on the verge of smoking a fucking cigarette. This was the same girl who used to wrinkle her nose at the smell of smoke, who used to lecture him when he’d grab a beer too fast after a workout because “your body deserves better, Jax.”
She used to look at him like he was the damn moon. Now his actions had driven her to the point where she was standing there, trembling as she lifted that cigarette to her lips like it was the only thing holding her together.
His jaw clenched. “Yeah,” he muttered to himself. “That’s not happening.” Not on his watch. Not when he was finally back where he belonged… even if she didn’t want him there.
Whatever this was—this distance, this anger, this wall she’d built between them—he wouldn’t let it stand. Not if he had anything to sayabout it. And he had a hell of a lot to say. Starting with the fact that he wasn’t going anywhere this time.
Not winning her back wasn’t an option. It simply wasn’t. But right now? Right now, he needed to hit something. Hard. Needed to bleed off the pressure building inside him before it turned into something he couldn’t control.
He pushed off the wall, dragging a hand through his hair, and headed for his bike. A few minutes later, the engine growled to life beneath him. Jaxon took off, letting the roar of his bike drown out everything else.
The road out of town opened up fast, the wind hitting his face, the vibration of his bike grounding him in a way nothing else did. It used to feel like freedom. Now it felt like the only thing keeping him from coming apart.