I bark out a laugh. “What scares you the most?”
He puffs out his puny chest. “Nothin’.”
“Awwww, such a tough guy. You can tell me. Is it zombies? Snakes? Heights? The thought of your daddy leaving and never coming back? Whatever it is would feel like paradise compared to me. I’m the horror movie you’ll never escape. Be afraid to check under your bed, Jimmy. That’s where evil spirts wait until you’re sleeping.”
Am I being unnecessarily cruel? Absolutely. Should I back off? Probably. Am I going to? Not a chance.
His bottom lip wobbles. “You’re mean.”
“That’s what you get for picking on Ronnie. If you ever bother her again, I’ll find you. Got it?” I jerk forward as if I’m about to grab him.
He screams and stumbles back. The stench of urine fills the air. And my job here is done.
I rise to my feet, backing away to avoid any puddles. “Ohhhh, did somebody have an accident? What a baby.”
Jimmy begins to wail, alerting his mother to the villain in their midst. She flutters in like an overpaid actress who doesn’t do her own stunts. Not a hair on her perfectly coiffed head is out of place.
“What’s the matter?” Even her tone is uppity.
Jimmy’s stubby finger jabs at me. “She’s a monster!”
I inspect my nails. “At your service.”
The mom peers over at me for the first time, not bothering to rein in her sneer. “Why is he crying?”
My shoulders bounce casually. “I scared him. Bit of a chicken shit if you ask me.”
Her jaw drops. “What’s wrong with you?”
“We don’t have time to get into all that. Just know that if Jimmy bothers Ronnie again, you and me are gonna have big problems.” I point between us to avoid any confusion.
“I’m getting security.” She waves her arms as if she’s directing traffic. “Help! Someone help us!”
My stomach clenches. I know where this road leads. “Or we could go out back and handle this like real women.”
Her face pales. “You’re crazy.”
I cackle like the best of ‘em. “Thanks for noticing.”
Two guards appear, boxing me in without asking a single question. Typical. The one with a substantial beer gut gives me a lewd once-over. His partner looks ready to whip out the taser that still has a factory sticker.
“Take it easy, buddy. This is just a misunderstanding,” I say.
“Don’t listen to her!” The mom blubbers, really pulling at the heartstrings. “She traumatized my son.”
My sigh is heavy with surrender. I motion Ronnie over and give her my phone. “Call your daddy, okay? Just like we practiced.”
Her wide eyes stray to the wannabe cops. “Are you in trouble, Frannie?”
I boop her nose. “Always, but this is the first time it was worth it.”
My boots trudge through the slush as I stomp toward the entrance of Slick City. I actually laughed when Ronnie called to tell me the news. Those poor souls don’t know who they’re dealing with. But then I realized just how serious this is.
Leave it to Francesca Keller to get corralled by security for intimidating a child. I’ve got to give her credit. Even I didn’t think she could pull off such an offense.
When I wrench open the door, a wall of noise smacks me in the face. This slide park was built in a repurposed warehouse and uncontrolled energy bounces from floor to ceiling. I let out a low whistle. Well, damn. It’s no wonder she lost her shit.
A young guy smiles at me from behind the greeter’s desk. “Welcome to—”