"I understand now," I say quietly. “My life means nothing to you beyond what use you can make of it."
Alessandro's eyes widen.
"Next time, I'll just let Maksim kill me. Better me than any of yourprecious men, right? At least then their deaths won't be on my conscience."
"Valentina!" Alessandro sputters. "That's not what I meant?—"
But I'm already turning away, my head high despite the tears blurring my eyes. I push past Adriano, past the door where Cristian waits.
I don't stop for any of them. What's the point? In their world, I'm just a piece of property.
What I feel… what I want… doesn’t matter.
I doubt it ever did.
It turns out, I was never a part of them, and that thought breaks me inside a little bit.
22
CRISTIAN
Why I’m not dead yet is a mystery to me.
By all rights, I should be feeding fish at the bottom of the Hudson. Valentina must have pleaded for my life.
That's the only explanation that makes sense.
Alessandro wouldn't have spared me otherwise, not after I all but called him a coward for sacrificing his sister.
I don’t regret telling Alessandro and Adriano what I think of their decisions, but if I die because of it, I’ll hate having abandoned Valentina.
As it is, I haven’t seen her for days.
To be honest, I haven’t tried, worried I’ll make things worse for her, especially now that she’s confined to the house.
I’m back to keeping my head down and accepting my demotion to perimeter security.
While I hate that Valentina is locked inside the house, I’m glad that she’s not out in the world where Maksim can get to her.
And if he thinks he can break into the Dante compound, he’ll be met with deadly consequences.
The Bratva breached security once in an attempt to get to Luca and Katerina. It won’t happen again.
Not on my watch.
But it’s not duty that makes me diligent. I’ve lost respect for Alessandro.
Part of me wanted to put my fist through his perfect teeth when he confined her to her room like a misbehaving child rather than acknowledging that Maksim tried to fucking kidnap her.
I never asked for this assignment, never wanted to be the one responsible for her safety, even complained about it.
What a fucking joke that seems now.
I'd kill to hear her voice, to see that mischievous glint in her eyes when she's planning something I'll regret going along with.
The empty times are filled with memories of how her skin felt, how she tasted, the sounds she made when she came.
How perfectly she fit in my arms.