“Hear me out,” she sing-songs, in the same voice she’s used a hundred times over the years to coax me out to bars or onto a dance floor when all I wanted was pajamas and a good book. She usually won, and we usually ended up with the best stories. Still, my favorite nights are the ones where it’s just the two of us, a tub of ice cream balanced between us, and re-runs ofGossip Girl. “What if instead of the usual pom-poms, we go for flaming batons? Picture it. Kick line. Pumping music. Then bam! Sticks on fire, crowd losing their mind?—”
Before I can reply, Tanya calls from the corner. “Picture the lawsuits, Olivia. Love the creativity but fire is a no-go.”
“What about some aerial work?” I suggest. “So many routines are ground based, but we’ve got the time and the skills in this squad to pull off something more daring.”
“Put a routine together and pitch it to me tomorrow,” Tanya says before being pulled back to her call.
Liv’s grin is wicked. “That’s what I wanted, really.”
“Knew it,” I reply as she hands me a coffee and I pass her the bagel bag.
Three hours later we’ve got the bones of a routine in place. There’s still a lot of fine-tuning required, and we need to decide which girls will take on the aerial work, but it’s progress.
A part of me still longs to be the cheerleader in the front row. Big smile, high kicks. Perfect moves every time. But when I hit twenty-six, the landings didn’t bounce back the same. My knees creaked in a way I knew they shouldn’t. So, when a coaching position came up last year, it felt like the right call, especially with Liv having moved over to coaching a few months before.
Coaching has given me stability. One job instead of three. As a coach, I help choreograph the routines and plan the schedule, as well as a million other things. And because I’ve lived in their shoes, I think it helps me look after the girls in a way no coach ever did for me. It’s why I keep extra snacks in my gym bag alongside a stash of hair ties, Band-Aids, and blister patches. I’m the one who tucks handwritten notes into lockers before big games.
My stomach growls as I glance at the clock.
Liv lifts her head. “I’d say we should grab lunch, but Jensen’s mom is insisting we take another look at the dress I’ve picked.” She rolls her eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t stay like that. “I swear, if she could, she’d march me down the aisle in a high-neck prairie gown with sleeves to my wrists. Please, please come and be my wingman.”
I laugh as I grab my bag. “I’d love to, but I already have plans to meet Chase for lunch. If you’re finished in time, come join us. We’ll be at Hank’s,” I reply, mentioning Chase’s favorite diner a few blocks from the stadium.
Before Liv can reply, a knock rattles the door and a delivery guy steps in, juggling a huge bouquet of red roses.
“Wow. They’re gorgeous,” Liv says, scooping them up and plucking at the envelope, already smiling. Of course they’re from Jensen. It’s exactly the kind of thoughtful thing he’d do. And for no other reason than to make her smile.
Except, that smile fades as she reads the card, cringes, and hands it to me. “Maybe not gorgeous after all.”
My heart sinks. I already know who they’re from as I read the card aloud. “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman. Be my date to the Hearts of Denver awards?”
The Hearts of Denver awards ceremony is in two weeks. It’s black tie, red carpet, the whole city’s elite turning out. I was already planning to attend with the Sullivans. Dylan’s beinghonored for his work with the Stormhawks outreach program, giving disadvantaged kids access to football, coaching, and equipment.
Of course, Ryan wants me as his date. The perfect chance to parade me on his arm like old times. I can’t believe I didn’t see his true colors for the seven months we were together. It wasn’t just where we ate and what we did that Ryan wanted control over. It was what outfit I was planning to wear and how I spent my time when we weren’t together, always dressed up like concern or affection.
You should wear your black dress. You look so beautiful in that.
Are you sure you should be going out tonight? You look like you need one of your cozy nights in.
Why did I ever agree to date Ryan in the first place? I said no at first, worried about the crossover of our jobs and Ryan’s role in staff coordination. But he kept asking, and back then I convinced myself his persistence was romantic.
It’s not the first time I’ve ignored red flags in a relationship. I never seem to know when to quit. I keep hoping, clinging, trying to make it work long after the cracks have split wide open in the relationship. It’s like I can’t give up on searching for that big love.
Liv snorts. “He’s more focused on getting you back now than he ever was on making you happy when you were together.”
“Right?” I mutter, staring at the roses I don’t want and don’t know what to do with.
I shove the bouquet aside, sling my bag over my shoulder, and let out a long breath. One question loops around my head: What the hell is it going to take for Ryan to get the message?
FOUR
CHASE
DYLAN:What the hell is in my fridge?
CHASE:Tuna and banana muffins. They were your idea, remember? I just put the order in last night and got them delivered to the ranch first thing this morning.
JAKE:Please tell me you didn’t eat one.