“Maybe it should have,” he said. “I mean pretty much we’re still strangers and you’re having my baby...which makes me think of myabuela’s favorite show,I Love Lucy, and that episode where Ricky sings... I’m losing it. I don’t know how to act anymore. I mean I can’t be the guy I was because I’m going to be a dad. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
She swung her legs to the side of the chair and leaned forward to touch his hand. “Hey. I’m not ready. That pdf you sent said that the nine months of pregnancy are supposed to help you prepare for the child.”
“I don’t know if nine months is going to be enough,” he admitted.
“Me, either,” she said. It was the first time they’d really talked about the baby. She felt like that was partially her fault because she’d been trying to make things between herself and Alec just feel normal instead of...like this. “I’ve never had a relationship with a guy before that’s lasted this long.”
“We’ve barely been seeing each other six weeks,” he said.
“I know. It’s just the way I normally am. I don’t know how to do this,” she admitted.
“Well, the sex seems to be good between us,” he said, smiling and tangling their fingers together.
“It does... But is that all there is to a relationship?” she asked, moving over to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she cupped his jaw.
“No. We also have to get to know things about each other,” he said.
“Like what?”
“Well, I know you like strawberries,” he said.
“And you like Lone Star beer,” she said.
“We should probably learn a few more things about each other before we call it a relationship,” he joked.
“You like Drake...a lot.”
“I do,” he admitted. “What about you?”
“Well, of course I like Siobahn’s songs but my comfort listen is jazz standards from the thirties and forties.”
“What? The brand influencer likes old-timey music?” he teased.
“I do,” she admitted. “And you’re the only one who knows.”
“I’m honored,” he said.
“You should be,” she said, stretching up to kiss him as she put her arms around his shoulders. She pressed herself against his naked chest and in this moment she didn’t let herself worry over what she was going to do when the nine months were upand her baby was here. Instead she just enjoyed the afternoon in the sun with her lover.
Alec shiftedon the sun lounger made for two so that they were lying side by side and he was cuddling her from behind. Their bodies fit together perfectly, her curves settling against his angles. His hand was warm on her hip as he caressed her. His head rested on her shoulder as he continued to ask her questions about things she liked and didn’t like.
This was like nothing she’d ever experienced before and a part of her wished that it wasn’t happening. She had that weird feeling again. It was warm and almost comforting. She associated it with Alec but she couldn’t say for sure what it was. She thought she might be starting to care for him.
She didn’t want that.
Sex was one thing. But if she let herself start caring... She admitted to herself she was afraid that she might not be able to control herself with Alec if she cared. She was trying to get to know him without allowing herself to need him. She couldn’t need him except as a father for her baby. She knew that she wasn’t facing the fact that she was going to have make a decision about the baby’s future and she was starting to care for Alec. But she couldn’t allow herself to feel anything other than lust for him.
She turned in his arms. His hands stayed at her waist and when she faced him, seeing the stubble on his jaw and the intensity of his gaze, she knew that lust was definitely a big draw for both of them.
He leaned down to kiss her and she caught his bottom lip between her teeth, sucking on it. Then he shifted his head and his mouth was on hers, his lips firm as he slowly kissed her. He moved his head back and forth, until her lips parted and she felt the exhalation of his breath into her mouth. He tasted oflime and tequila and something that she associated only with Alec. She opened her mouth to invite him deeper.
She shivered as she wrapped her arms around him and draped one thigh over his hips, trying to get closer to him. The taste of him always made her hungry for more.
“I’m having another craving,” she whispered against his jaw.
“What is it for?” he asked, his hands moving up and down her body.
“You,” she admitted.