Of course, she’d retreated, but that was because he was different. The type of guy she normally attracted would have pushed for a kiss or more until she either gave in or shoved him out of her life. But Alec was subtle and funny. He was carefully feeling his way along trying to get to know her better and maybe let her see the real man.
She fanned her cards out on the table and then crossed her arms under her breasts as she leaned back in the large leather chair. “Read ’em and weep.”
He chewed his lower lip between his teeth and gave her a steely-eyed look. “I see I’m going to have to reevaluate you. I was sure you were bluffing.”
“I wasn’t,” she said.
“Obviously. But you played it so cool I couldn’t tell. Interesting. I think that means you must spend a lot of time hiding who you really are,” he said.
“Dude, I said you could have a kiss, not psychoanalyze me.”
He leaned across the table, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Sorry. It’s just that I haven’t wanted a woman the way I want you in a long time. I’m trying to give myself a bit of time to gain some control.”
Again she was struck by how he seemed to have no barriers when it came to her. She wanted to believe in him but as he’d noted a minute ago, experience had taught her that what she really needed to do was to keep her true self hidden. It was just better for her. There had been only one person she’d ever felt comfortable letting her guard down around and that had been Tara.
And she was still trying to recover from the pain of losing her the way that she had. She really didn’t want to go down that dark and emotional path so she leaned forward, elbows on the table, putting her hands on his wrists. “So about the kiss I’ve won in this hand.”
“What about it?” he asked.
“I’m trying to decide if I should take my prize and walk or keep it in the ante and see if I can win again.”
He took her left hand in his, his thumb stroking her palm and sending shivers of sensation up her arm, making her breasts feel heavy.
“Up to you,” he said. “You call the shots.”
As if.She realized that was cynical but she’d been in too many situations like this to believe that one person called all the shots. Sex was intimate and involved so much more than power in her experience.
“I see you don’t believe me,” he said. “I’m not playing around with you, Scarlet. I know I lied to you the first night we met but you’re pregnant with my baby. I want you more than I want my next breath and that makes me feel dangerous...out of control. I don’t want to be that way. Not when so much is at stake.”
Again he disarmed her with the truth. His earnestnessmade her want to believe him yet every experience in her life had shown her that when she most wanted to trust in another person, they let her down. And he was right: the stakes here were high. They both wanted to make sure they didn’t add another screwed-up being to the planet. Both of them wanted better for the baby she was carrying.
And maybe that was enough.
Of course it is.Tara’s voice sounded in her head.Stop dithering and kiss the man. It’s what you want.
It was what she wanted so she pushed away from the table and went around to his side. She put her hands on the arm of his chair and spun it so he faced her. Then she sat down on his lap, sitting sideways so that her legs hung over the armrest and she could see his face. One of his arms came around her waist and the other one just hovered in the air over her body, not touching her.
She lifted her hand to his face, touched the light stubble on his jaw and looked into his dark brown eyes, searching for something in his gaze but not really knowing what it was. She sighed inside and realized there were no guarantees. This could be nothing more than a nice way to spend the flight or it could be the most dangerous decision she ever made.
But she wasn’t someone who cowered. And Tara’s voice in her head had reminded her of that.
She rubbed her thumb over his full lower lip and his mouth parted, his breath coming out in a sudden gasp. She felt him harden under her hips. She leaned in closer, taking her time because now that she’d made up her mind, there was no rush. Regardless of the outcome, she wanted and intended to make this last.
Their eyes met and she felt something shift and settle deep inside her. At least they had this one thing that made sense between them. The rest of their lives were crazy right now, butthis, she thought as she leaned in and brushed her lips over his, made perfect sense.
Chapter Nine
His hands were shaking; it was all he could do to keep himself under control. But she was on his lap, her mouth so close to his that he felt each exhalation of her breath against his lips, and it served to fan the flames that were edging ever more untamable.
He put his hand on her shoulder, forcing himself to keep his touch light and not caress her skin. But the neckline of her sweater was wide, and he had brushed her naked skin as his fingers came to rest there. He wanted to stroke and caress her more, but he had promised her she was in control. That he’d settle for whatever she wanted to give him.
But he knew deep in his soul that he wanted it all. He wanted every damned thing she had to give. Her lips brushed his and sensation went through him, making his blood run heavier in his veins and hardening his cock. He shifted underneath her to try to make himself more comfortable within the tight confines of his pants.
She smiled against his mouth as she kept the kiss light. Just a mere pressing of her lips against his. Then she moved her head slightly and their lips rubbed together more intimately.The hair on the back of his neck stood up and a sensual shiver went down his spine. He moved his hand from her collarbone to the back of her neck, cupping it as he turned his head slightly and deepened the kiss.
She tasted better than he remembered... And given that it hadn’t been that long since he’d last kissed her, he was surprised. Surely, she hadn’t become more addictive in those few hours since their kiss. But it seemed she had. His hand tangled in her braid as he cupped the back of her head and leaned up to take her mouth more deeply. He heard the tiny moan from deep in her throat and he answered in kind.
He rubbed his hand down her back, taking his time so that he felt each curve of her spine. Then he shifted his head back to look up at her as he put both hands on her waist and lifted her until she could straddle his lap.