“It’s only sex. I’d never fuck you like that.”
I open and then close my mouth because I’m unsure how to respond. Then it hits me. I’m the doll on the shelf. I do as I’m told and play the part. I was going to be his wife, and he would make polite love to me while having dirty fucks on the side. Why wouldn’t I want my husband to fuck me and make love to me? Why can’t it be both?
“I’m not mad,” I say calmly because if I think about it, I let myself be put on the shelf. I was too agreeable with him and his mother and always went along with whatever they said.
“Good.” He lets out a long breath. “Mother already sent out the save the date cards.”
“Seriously?”
“You know how she can be.” I do, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with her any longer. In fact, I’m over trying to please anyone.
“That’s not what I meant. I meant, you seriously still think we’re together? I said I’m not upset with you because I get it. We’ve never been the most affectionate couple.” That was another sign I glossed over.
“I want a virgin on my wedding night,” he blurts out, and I stop walking.
A few people knock into me, telling me to get out of the way. His words are almost as shocking as me walking in on him with two women.
“You want a virgin.” I step to the side so I’m out of the way. Clearly, I don’t know Nick, and he sure as hell doesn’t know me. “I can't do this right now. I’m standing on the sidewalk.”
“Okay,” he agrees quickly. “I’ll pick you up early tomorrow for the charity event or whatever bullshit we’re supposed to go to. We’ll talk then.” I swear I hear a giggle in the background. The women are still at his home. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Vanny. I knew you'd understand. You’re always so rational and dependable.”
“Thanks,” I mutter as I rub my forehead where the headache is forming.
“Bye,” he calls out almost absentmindedly before he hangs up.
When I stare at the blank screen, I think long and hard about tossing it in the trash. Nick actually bought it for me, and at the time, I thought it was a sweet gift. My old one would never hold a charge for long, but I think the truth is he was embarrassed when I pulled out my four-year-old phone in front of others.
Deciding I need the fresh air, I keep on walking. After a few blocks, I stop at one of my favorite delis to get a sandwich. I can’t believe that man really thinks I’m going to go anywhere with him.
When I make it back to my small studio that’s rented by the month, I see flowers and a box sitting in front of the door. I grab them before letting myself inside, then place everything on the kitchen island. I rented this apartment after I graduated because I couldn’t live on campus anymore. It came fully furnished, which is nice, but it was only meant to hold me over. Now I’ve got a million decisions I need to make.
The flowers have a note that has the word sorry written on it and then Nick’s name underneath. The man works fast, but I guess money really can get things done. I open the box and inside are twelve chocolate-covered strawberries.
Nick might not love me the way he should, but on some level, I thought we had a friendship. Seeing the twelve poisonous berries is a punch to my stomach.
Grabbing the box, I toss it into the trash and shake my head in disgust. How does he not remember I’m allergic to them? I keep an EpiPen on me at all times, for God’s sake.
I have a feeling breaking things off with Nick is going to be impossible. He’s so used to me saying yes. What’s he going to do when he finally hears no?
Chapter 4
Lawson
“He’s been on his phone all night,” someone says, but I ignore it.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I haven’t seen him like this before.”
“Lawson, honey, are you okay?” I glance up and see my mom looking at me expectantly. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, just work stuff.”
I shouldn’t have come to the family dinner tonight. Ever since I saw the bride in the window, I’ve become obsessed, although that’s not even the right word. Consumed? Maybe “tormented” is a better way to frame it. It feels like I’m being tortured the longer time goes on. All I can think about is seeing her again and finding out every small detail about her.
So far, I know a little more than I did yesterday but it’s not enough. Her name is Vanna Noble, and she’s a former foster kid who just recently graduated college. She’s currently unemployed as far as I can tell, and her most recent address is a monthly studio downtown. She’s been pictured with Nick Chambers and his family several times, and there was an engagement announcement placed in the society pages. It makes sense why she was trying on a wedding dress, and after looking into her fiancé, I can see why she was so miserable about it.
There’s nothing about what I’m doing that is close to sane because right now I’m thinking of a plan to get her alone.
“You don’t look good,” Mack says from beside Mom as he takes a handful of chips and nudges her with his elbow. “Does he look pale to you?”