She cocks her head, scanning my face. “You could sense it, couldn’t you? Damn, I’m never goin’ to be able to surprise you with anythin’ever.”
My brows furrow as I try to get a read on her. Seeing my confusion, she leans over and brushes the pad of her thumb over my creased forehead before staring me dead in the eye. “I’m not scared of tellin’ you. I’m scared of me sayin’ it out loud. Because then it’ll be real and I want to do it, I’m just… it’s a big step, you know?”
Every word out of Em’s mouth is making me think of worst-case scenarios. Maybe she’s changed her mind about me staying here? Or could I be taking this whole house-husband job a littletooseriously? Maybe she’s sick of me–
“Listen to me, Jude Henley Cooper, and yes, I am goin’ to full name you because this is serious. Please let this sink in. I am never–ever–goin’ to get sick of you.”
My head jerks. “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
Em’s lips twitch as she leans down to press a kiss to my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and then my lips. “Oh, yeah.So believe me when I say I have not and will not change my mind about you, us,this,” she squeezes my arm. “OK?”
I wait till Em straightens again before pulling myself up into a sitting position mirroring hers. Grabbing hold of her hands, I cradle them in my own and meet her gaze. “Sorry, wifey. I think I’ve missed somethin’ here. Why are you worried about tellin’ me somethin’?”
She looks down at our joined hands for a long time before lifting her head. When she does, there are tears gathering.
“Hey,” I say, lifting my arm and brushing my thumb over the apple of her cheek to sweep away the wet. “What’s wrong? Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. Yeah?”
“God, I love you,” she whispers and it hits me like a jolt to the heart. “Sometimes, I just look at you and can’t believe you’re real and you’re here. You’re givin' up time on the ranch with your greenhouses and gardens and everythin’ important to you to be here and–”
“Be with you, the woman I love. It’s not a hardship, Em. Definitely not a sacrifice either.”
“You’re literally the definition of ‘if he wanted to, he would,’ Jude. Because you do, and you have, and you’re here. And I–”
I can’t take it anymore. I grab her face and crush our lips together, pouring everything in my heart into it, hoping she can absorb how important she is to me without me needing to say it. That won’t stop me making sure she knows anyway.
“You’reimportant to me, Em.This,” I stroke my fingers over her skin, “isthemost important thing in my life right now. I’m right where I want to be. By your side is where Ibelong. OK?”
Her brows bunch together. “OK,” she whispers, her eyes bright and shimmering with happy tears this time.
“I do have a question though,” I ask.
“What’s that?”
“Is my ramblin’ contagious? Cause I love you, and I love listenin’ to you and I’ll do it all day long, but you just spent an exorbitant length of time to tell me what you said you werescaredto tell me. But also, that sent my mind on a hamster-wheel worthy deep dive to work out what I might have done wrong. I don’t mind it because it happens to me all the time. But I’ve got to tell you, I’d rather you just tell me what’s wrong. Otherwise, I’m goin’ to lie here and wonder what I’ve done wrong…”
Her eyes widen as realization dawns. “Oh my goodness. No, Jude. It’s definitely not bad. It’s more that once I tell you I want to move back home, it’ll be all the more real.”
My brain glitches as I process what she just said. Thankfully, she’s on a roll so she keeps talking.
“I was thinkin’ about how to tell you, and then it just seemed to get bigger and bigger in my mind.”
“Say it,” I whisper, needing to hear the words that I didn’t think I’d hear anytime soon.
“I want to move back to Timber Falls–to the mountain. I couldn’t think of a cool way to say it and without you thinkin’ that I wasn’t sure,” she blurts out. “Because I am. Sure, that is. It’s time. I need to be with my family and I can’t be away from you. I want to start movin’ forward with our lives together. I want to get to know your family better and make plans. Build a life, a home, afuturewith you, Jude. Though, Dare said somethin’ weird and told me not to worry about where you and I will live so I think he has a plan but–” An ooof sound escapes her the moment I hook her legs from under her, lying her flat on the mattress and covering her body with mine. “What?”
“I love you.” I kiss the hinge of her jaw. “I adore you.” I drag my mouth over to kiss the corner of her mouth. “And if there was ever any doubt,” I say with a smirk, “let me convince you.” Asqueak is the last coherent sound I hear out of my wife for a good long while after that.
A good time later–in all meanings of the word–when we’re both cleaned up and ready for bed, wrapped up tight in each other’s arms under the covers, we get back to talking.
“Feel free to convince me likethatany time, hubby,” she teases.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I reply, running my hand through her hair. “Let it be known that you can ramble up there with the best of us.”
A quiet giggle fills the air. “I was nervous about what you’d say.”
“Always know that where you are is where I’ll be, whether that be here in Palmer, back home in Timber Falls, or on top of an active volcano only accessible by helicopter–cause that was cool as hell and it made my brothers jealous.” I grin. “All I want is for you to be sure that you’re doin’ this foryou, not for me, your family, or out of some obligation you have.”
“That’s why I was nervous about sayin’ it out loud,” she murmurs, pulling herself closer to me. “Not because I don’t want to, but because as soon as I let myself think about it, I realized I really,reallydo.” She smiles. “I don’t think I would’ve ever gotten there without you, Jude. You give me strength.”