Derrick falls quiet for a while after I say that. So much so, that I have to turn my head to check he hasn’t suddenly turned mute.
“I don’t—” He shakes his head and purses his lips together as if biting back what he really wants to say.
“Out with it, big brother. You’ve never minced words with me, so don’t hold back now.”
He nods, turning his body my way and looking me dead in the eye. “You’ve always been pretty clear about what you want out of life and you’ve done what’s needed to get there. You’ve got a life in Palmer. A great job you’re good at. All of it.”
Now I’m the confused one because I can’t see what that has to do with me agreeing to get married today. Or why looking into Jude Cooper’s beautiful brown eyes had my mind going blank of everything and the word ‘yes’ came out of my mouth of its own volition. And let’s not mention the fact I’ve felt lost since Jude left the ranch either. That’ll just confuse me even more.
“What are you tryin’ to say, Dare?”
“I’m givin’ you an out, Em. You can still change your mind. I’ll fully support you if you want to go back in there and tell Dad you don’twantto marry a stranger—let alone one from the other side of the mountain that you’ve always been told to hate,” he replies.
I cock my head. “Arethey our rivals?”
“Nope,” he says, popping the p. “Far from it. We’re all just tangled up in the sins of generations past. Dad insists that we’ve had our chance at future happiness stolen from us because of a misguided belief that payin’ land taxes for kin until they were of age generations ago means we’re owed somethin’.”
I sigh. “When you put it like that, it sounds kind of ridiculous.”
He gives me a ‘duh’ look. “That’s because it is, Little Em.”
I can’t stop the wry grin that curves my lips at that. “Do I haveyourblessin’ to marry Jude today? Even if it’s only for show and for Dad’s benefit?”
“If you’ve already decided to do it, there ain’t no way I’m goin’ to stop you. I learnedthatlesson long ago.”
There’s no stopping my unladylike snort at that. “Youwere the one who sent the twins to stop me buyin’ that motorcycle from Kinleyville. It wasthemwho took one look at it and not only encouraged me to buy it, they also suggested I ride it back to Timber Falls.”
“And it wasmewho had to come rescue you without Mom and Dad findin’ out when it lost a tire on the side of the highway and you almost broke your leg.” He says it with a smile but I remember at the time he was anythingbuthappy about the situation.
I latch onto his arm and bat my lashes, smiling over at him like butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. “Have I ever told you you’re myfavoritebig brother?”
He smirks. “Considerin’ there’s only two of us to have that title, I’d hope I was in the runnin’.”
We both laugh but it drifts off when reality creeps back in.
“I want to do this for him,” I say out loud as I feed some more hay to an eager and very nosy Rodney the pony. “He’s done so much for me—forus—it’s the least I can do. I was never plannin’ on gettin’ married anyway, so I might as well get this one-and-done out of the way.” I say the words but all I can see at the forefront of my mind is Jude and those expressive eyes of his…
All I can remember is the warmth of his hand and the sparks that flowed through me when we touched.What was that anyway?
“Em…” Dare says. I don’t miss the warning in his tone. “You’re forgettin’ that you’re not the only one takin’ part in this. You need to make sure you’re both on the same page about this.”
I shoot him an arched brow. “He literally turned up and got guilted into marryin’ me by a dyin’ man that said it’s the only thing he’d ever ask of his family ever again. I think Jude knows exactly what this is.”Even if I’m wavering a little myself on the issue…
Dare’s expression is unreadable, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see a lot working behind his eyes.
When he sighs, I know he’s realized I’m not budging on my decision. “You know you always have my support.” I nod. “I just think you?—”
“What? Just say it.”
“Just…OK. Youdoknow that not everyone has the same thoughts as you when it comes to marriage,” he states.
I huff out a laugh. “You mean women, Dare. And yes, I know. Most peoplewantto get married. It’s not like I’magainstit. I’ve just never let it rule the direction of my life. I've never deemed it an important milestone I have to achieve. That’s all.”
“I get that. But for most people, it’s a big commitment, one they don’t enter into lightly. For some, it can mean more to them than others. You get what I’m sayin’?”
I roll my eyes this time. “Iknow, Dare. This is different though. Maybe Dad just wants to see me walk down the aisle. That’s totally a thing.”
He studies me for a good long while before the corner of his mouth quirks up. “Yeah. About that…”