“So?I can be sorry for something that happened to you.I can especially be sorry for it because even though I wasn’t born, Carlyle was responsible for it.He was wrong to do that.”
“I’m not going to argue that, but still.You have nothing to apologize for in this case.”
Emory swallowed heavily.“But I do in other cases.”
“And you’ve already apologized.You can’t spend the rest of your life doing that.It’s not good for you.”
“Who cares what’s good for me?After what I did, I don’t think anyone does, and I’m fine with that.”
“That’s not true.Some of the mages and dragons might not like you or your presence here, but it doesn’t mean they want something bad to happen to you.”
“Nothing bad is happening.I’m just apologizing.”
“Which you already did plenty of times.There’s no need for you to do it again.”
Graham shook his head.“I’m not only sorry for what happened to you.I’m sorry that I ever worked with Carlyle to begin with.I’m sorry that my brother and I got him out of that stone.”
Emory had questions about that, but something told him that if he asked them, Graham would get spooked and run.He kept glancing at the other end of the hallway like he was planning on doing just that.“You regret doing whatever it is you did for Carlyle, right?”he asked.
“We never should have.I should’ve been stronger and stood up to my brother.Maybe he wouldn’t be dead if I had.”
Great.Now Emory wanted to comfort Graham.The problem was that he had no idea how to do it.The two of them weren’t friends.They weren’t anything, but Emory owed Graham his life.If it wasn’t for him, Emory wouldn’t be here today.“You can’t know that,” he said gently.“And you never will.It’s useless to blame yourself for that.Your brother made his own decisions, and there’s nothing you can do to change what he did.”
“But is there anything I can do to change whatIdid?”
* * * *
GRAHAM WAITED FOR EMORY’Sanswer.He wasn’t sure he’d like what he was about to hear, but he wasn’t asking him because he wanted to like it.He wanted answers.He wanted to know what he could do to get people to forgive him.More than that, he wanted to know what he could do to atone for what he’d done.He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, but he had, and he hated it.Heneededpeople to forgive him.He needed to know they didn’t hate him.Maybe he shouldn’t feel that way, but he did, and he couldn’t help it.
“You’ll never change what you did,” Emory said gently.
“No, but I can atone for it.I can try to do some good to balance the bad I’ve done.I want to be useful to you and everyone else in the castle.I want to show all of you that you did the right thing by helping me.”He swallowed.“I know where Carlyle liked to hide.”
Emory blinked.“I do, too.”
“You know where Carlyle liked to hide before, when the two of you were together.I don’t think they’re the same places that I know.”
“Maybe they are.I didn’t find him anywhere when I went looking for him, though.”
“Because he knew you’d look for him.I’m not saying that we’ll find anything in his recent hiding spots, but I believe it’s worth a try.Maybe he left stuff behind.”Graham was sure he had.When they’d liberated Carlyle from the gemstone, he hadn’t had anything with him but the clothes on his back, but that had quickly changed.Initially, he’d used the little money Graham and Simon had, but Carlyle had been smart.Before facing the mages, he’d left money hidden in places he could easily get to if he needed it, and some of it was still there even after all the time he’d spent in the gemstone.
Graham wasn’t only thinking about money, though.Carlyle had been a powerful mage, and he’d worked with magic a lot.He was bound to have left ingredients or books somewhere, and maybe the mages could use those.
“I’m not sure what you’re offering,” Emory said slowly.
“To show you some places where Carlyle liked to hide.I don’t know what you’ll find there, but it’s worth a try, and hopefully, it’ll help me atone.It’ll help everyone see that I’m on your side.”
“That’s not a decision I can make.I’m not the leader here.”
Graham knew that.“Maybe you could talk to Jarvis for me?”
“Youcould talk to Jarvis.He would never push you away.”
“He should.”
“Maybe, but he won’t.The mages have welcomed you into their home.That means you’re here to stay for as long as you want.They don’t need you to provide them with anything in exchange.”
“But I want to.”