Emory had taken a step away from Graham and crossed his arms over his chest in a way that looked like he was hugging himself.The low light from the lamp on the nightstand made him look softer and younger, almost like he’d never been hurt by Carlyle.Graham wished that were the case.
“You’re not broken,” he said quietly.“You’re healing.There’s a difference.”
Emory’s expression changed, and he relaxed.“I want this,” he said.“I want you here.But I need you to know that I might—” He stopped and sucked in a breath.“I might need to go slow.Or stop.Or—”
“Hey.”Graham crossed the space between them, careful not to touch Emory yet in case he didn’t want him to.“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.I meant what I said earlier.I just want to be with you.”He didn’t know when he’d become the most assertive between them, but he didn’t mind it if it helped Emory feel more comfortable, even though it made him feel slightly awkward.
Emory’s gaze searched Graham’s face, looking for something, although Graham didn’t know what.Graham let him look and kept his expression calm and open, even though part of him was freaking out.
After a moment, Emory reached out and grabbed Graham’s hand, linking their fingers together.
“I’m not used to this,” Emory admitted.“I loved Carlyle, but even before he revealed himself for who he was, I sometimes wondered if he really loved me or if he was with me because he needed a shield.There was always a reason for everything he did, you know?He always wanted something from me.”
“I want lots of things from you,” Graham said, because he wanted to be honest.Emory’s eyes widened slightly.Graham squeezed his hand.He wanted to be honest, but he didn’t want to send Emory running.“I want to hear about your day.I want to watch you fly, and maybe fly with you one day, when you’re comfortable with that.I want to know what makes you laugh.I want—” He hesitated, then decided to be brave.“I want to wake up next to you and know you’re happy I’m there with you.”
Emory made a soft sound and pulled Graham closer.This kiss was different from the other one.It was slower, deeper, more certain, like Emory knew for sure that Graham wouldn’t push him away this time.Graham let him control the pace, following his lead as they moved toward the bed.There was no hesitation in him.He wanted this more than he could remember wanting anything else.
They started to take off their clothes carefully, with frequent pauses for kisses and quiet words.Emory’s hands shook slightly when he reached for Graham’s t-shirt, and Graham covered them with his.
“We really don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Emory interrupted.“I’m just, well, it’s been a long time since I’ve done this.I couldn’t trust anyone after Carlyle.I couldn’t be this vulnerable with anyone.”
Yet Emory was choosing to be vulnerable with Graham.Graham understood and was touched.With Carlyle, everything had been tangled up in power and magic and control because of the bond between him and Emory, but also because of the person Carlyle had been.This was just Emory and Graham because there could never be any kind of bond between them.They were choosing each other without any magical bond creating a connection.
“I won’t betray you,” he whispered.
“I know.I like how real this feels.”
“Real is good,” Graham said softly.“I want this to be real.”
Something in Emory’s expression cracked open, and he kissed Graham again.They fell onto the bed, and it was clumsy and sweet and hopefully nothing like what Emory had experienced with Carlyle.It was better because it was real.Graham didn’t want anything from Emory except what Emory was willingly giving him.
And Emory was willing to give him a lot.
Graham couldn’t remember the last time he’d done this, and he had a moment of hesitation when Emory reached for his sweatpants, but it didn’t last more than a few seconds.The only thing Graham could read in Emory’s expression was desire.He really wanted Graham.
That shattered the last of Graham’s hesitation.He fumbled with the button of Emory’s jeans, his fingers feeling thick and clumsy.Emory just smiled and helped him, shoving the fabric down his thighs in one impatient movement as soon as it was open.
The cool air of the bedroom raised goosebumps on Graham’s skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat of Emory’s body pressing against his, skin to skin.Emory was all lean muscle and smooth skin, and his hard cock pressed against Graham’s stomach.
Emory’s lips found Graham’s again with renewed hunger, his tongue pushing into Graham’s mouth.Graham groaned into the kiss, his hands roaming down the long line of Emory’s back, then over the perfect curve of his ass.He squeezed, pulling him closer, grinding their hips together.The friction made his head spin.
Emory broke the kiss.He reached for the nightstand, fumbling in the drawer for a moment before retrieving a bottle.Graham didn’t have to recognize it to know what it was, and his entire body went hot.
Emory watched him, his lips parted.He poured a generous amount of lube into his palm while Graham watched back.The sounds they were both making were obscenely loud in the quiet room, and it didn’t get any better when Emory’s slick hand wrapped around both of their cocks.
Emory’s grip was firm, his strokes long and sure.Graham’s hips bucked upward, seeking more friction, more pressure, more ofeverything.
More of Emory.
Graham grabbed Emory’s hips, pressing his fingers hard into his skin.Their foreheads pressed together, their breaths mingling.Graham could feel the tension coiling deep in his groin.He was already close, but the look on Emory’s face told him he wasn’t alone.It had been so long for both of them, and not only the sex.The intimacy of what they were doing made Graham want to cry.
“I want you inside me,” Emory breathed against Graham’s mouth, shocking him.“Now, Graham.I need it.”
Graham nodded, his throat too tight for him to speak.Emory sprawled out onto the bed, his legs falling open, making Graham’s heart hammer in his chest.He moved between Graham’s thighs, trembling with anticipation.He knew what to do, but he was afraid he might hurt Emory, and he never wanted to do that.
He took the lube, using it to slick his cock.He was moving in quick, desperate movements because he didn’t want to come before he gave Emory what he wanted.Hopefully, focusing on Emory for a bit would help.