He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d eventually start feeling differently.Would the castle ever feel like home?He hadn’t been there that long, so he hoped so.He might have been planning on leaving, but he didn’t actually want to.It scared him.He’d been with his brother all of his life, but now, he was completely alone.He didn’t know how to be self-reliant.What if he lost his job and couldn’t pay rent?What if he couldn’t find a job that paid enough for him to be okay?He’d end up on the streets, and that was a terrifying thought.
It wasn’t only that, though.At the castle, even if he stayed in his bedroom most of the time, he still had company.He knew there were people around him, and when he had dinner with them, it made him feel less alone.He tried to give the mages and their dragons as much space as possible because this was their home, but sometimes, it was nice to spend time with them.He knew that some of them didn’t want him there, and it could feel awkward sometimes, but he didn’t need much.
He just needed to feel like someone cared.
He swallowed and glanced at Emory.The man was still watching him.Graham wasn’t sure if he liked it or if it made him uncomfortable.It definitely made him want to squirm.He didn’t know what Emory was thinking, and he wished he did.
“No one really knows you,” Emory finally said.“You made sure of that.”
Graham wasn’t offended by the words because they were right.Hehadmade sure of that.“I doubt that Tyne would want to know what my favorite color is,” he murmured.
“Maybe not, but he’s not all the mages.He’s definitely not me, and Idowant to know your favorite color.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
Graham thought about Emory’s dragon form.He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, but he felt like he would if he opened his mouth.
Instead, he shook his head.“You should see one of the mages if you’re still in pain,” he said.
If Emory was surprised at the change of topic in conversation, he didn’t say anything about it.He stayed silent for a moment before shrugging.“I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“Maybe not, but they’d be happy to help you.”
“It’s just muscle soreness.I’m fine.My headache is gone, and I’m sure that I’ll feel like new soon.”
“Will you feel well enough to fly?”
“I always feel well enough to fly.”
“Why are you sitting on this bench, then?”
Emory grinned.“You think you’re so smart.”
“I know I am.You’d be flying if you felt well enough to do it.”
“Maybe, but I promise I’m fine.You don’t have to worry about me.”
Graham thought he would always worry about Emory.He wasn’t sure why he’d latched onto him the way he had, but he suspected it had to do with losing his brother.He’d always taken care of Simon, and now that he didn’t have to anymore, he felt a little lost.Taking care of Emory had helped with that, and thinking about him was helping Graham not obsess over what his next step would be.
He knew he’d need to leave eventually, but he didn’t feel ready to do it.It helped that Emory had basically forbidden him to do so.It made Graham feel guilty, but he could tell himself that it wasn’t his fault, at least for now.
Emory wanted him to stay.Graham didn’t know how long that would last, but he would enjoy every second of it.
* * * *
GRAHAM CLEARLY KNEWEmory too well, which was confusing because he wasn’t supposed to.They hadn’t really talked until recently.Graham had been there for Emory when Emory had been wounded, and he’d saved his life, but that hadn’t made them friends.
But Emory felt like they were now.
It was in the way Graham grinned at him, in the way Graham teased him and found himself comfortable enough to do so.When he was with Emory, he wasn’t as stiff and quiet as he was with everyone else, and Emory liked that.He wanted to be the one to put a smile on Graham’s lips.
And he was.He didn’t think he’d seen Graham smile more than he did when they were together.He still didn’t know why that was, but he had an inkling, even though he didn’t want to think about that right now.It felt too fragile.The last thing he wanted was to hurt Graham, although he had to be careful about himself, too.
Graham looked away.Emory blinked, realizing they’d been staring at each other for at least a few minutes.He tilted his face toward the sun, smiling at the feeling of the warmth on his skin.“Sometimes, it still feels weird to think I can go fly,” he said.
“Because you weren’t able to for so long?”Graham’s voice was soft, as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing.It was like he didn’t want to remind Emory of what he’d been through, but it was impossible for Emory to forget it.He didn’t need reminders for it to be in his mind all the time, although he hoped that would eventually change.For now, though, all of that was too fresh.