Connor supports me with one hand. With the other, he chokes me.
The moment my airway is cut off, I come, melting like a jelly. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“Welcome.” He continues to pound into me, and I can tell when he’s getting close. I grab his face and bite his bottom lip. A little harder than I intended. But I think he likes it because his eyes close and he pulls out to ejaculate into his T-shirt.
The window is behind him, so shadows cover his face, but they can’t cover the brightness of his eyes. His chest heaves, his jaw’s tucked, and he watches me.
“You are beautiful,” I tell him.
“Only on the outside.” Connor pulls up his pants. “I’ll wear a condom next time.” He walks away and stands at the window. “Where is that asshole going?” He dials someone on the phone. “Hey, where are you going?”
My knees wobble as I walk over to him.
“The baby is sleeping,” he says. “Wait for Dina to come out.” Then: “She’s not coming out? Why?” A pause. “Oh.” Connor laughs. “This is great. Wish I was there for that, but I wasn’t, and now that I am, I’m telling you not to go into…DICK!”
Connor rushes out. I dress quickly and rush down the steps after him. “What’s going on?”
“He woke up the baby. I knew it. She was fussing because her teeth are coming in.”
By the time we’re downstairs, Declan is walking back in, again looking like a wet Doberman.
Connor clips him on the shoulder as he walks by. “What did I say, hm?”
“Bring them into the house,” Declan orders.
“Oh, really? Is that the genius in you speaking?”
Dina carries Hanna, who is howling at this point. My friend apologizes, even though it’s not her fault. Or Declan’s, I’m sure. Hanna is fussy. If she weren’t, she wouldn’t have heard him come in.
I carry her into the house and rock her, watching Connor bring the crib in. Declan opens the sliding door for him to walk in, but Connor pauses by his brother. “If the baby wasn’t using this crib tonight, I’d break it over your stupid head.”
Declan’s face tells it all. He’s guilty. You can see he’s uncomfortable. Awww. He does have a heart after all. I pat his shoulder. “It’s okay. She’ll be fine.”
Chapter 25
Renne
Last time Hanna was teething, we went through two weeks of sleepless nights. Needless to say, when I felt teeth pushing at her gums and saw the rash on her cheeks, I knew we were in for it.
There’re moms out there who let the baby cry it out or medicate them, but I’m not one of them. I hold Hanna all the time, trying to comfort her, and then I carry her, rock her, even feed her in the middle of the night. She’s not really hungry. I’m soothing her.
Basically, I’ll do anything for her not to cry.
She’s a great baby, so when she does cry, it’s heartbreaking for me.
This time around, it’s different. I’m not the only one waking up at night trying to comfort her. In fact, last night, I slept till five in the morning. Connor got up with Hanna. He played her this strange acoustic music that he researched from his phone. He said it calms babies. It’s magical, and he might be her magical unicorn. But even unicorns must sleep.
The blinds block the rising sun, but there’s just enough light peeking in at six a.m. when I walk into Hanna’s room to see that Connor fell asleep sprawled on the sofa beside the crib where Hanna sleeps on her belly. The mattress pushes against her soft cheek and forces her mouth open. A wet spot of drool stains the white sheet.
There’s nothing I’d love more than to take a picture of these two now.
I bite my bottom lip, wondering if I should. Just one image. For the times when life gets hard again. Because the worst is yet to come for me. I know it like I know how to stitch a wound. If the yacht massacre I witnessed taught me anything, it’s that life is short and you can’t control what happens to you. Sure, I could have stayed at home that night and not gone out.
But who’s to say I wouldn’t have witnessed a shooting at the grocery store the very next day?
Or at a hospital while on the clock.
The day Connor Crossbow got admitted to my floor, I was just working. Then his brother took down half of Selnoa’s corrupt police department along with the criminals. One never knows.