I want her life for myself. I want it so badly, and yet I can’t have it because I must stay in the shadows and mind my own business. No honest man would want to be dragged into my mess. And the man who could navigate the shadows of my life, a man like Connor, would shoot me if he found out I’ve been lying this whole time.
Declan Crossbow wants peace? Well, there’s a major crime lord after me. He won’t tolerate me or my issues, even if Connor or Dina would.
I can only hope the Crossbows never find out what I saw that night and that nobody ever comes for me. If they do, Dina will protect Hanna. I’m not a stupid woman. I want my child protected at all costs. Dina helped me when she didn’t evenknow me. She’s the kind of woman who would adopt my child if I went down.
“I’m so glad you’re coming this morning.”
“I’m sorry you had to reschedule because of me.”
“I’m not sorry at all. I get to try on my dress earlier. The designer seemed excited too, so the timing worked out just right. Besides, I already dropped the five pounds I set out to drop this week.”
“Congratulations.”
She flips down the mirror. “I can see it in my face. By the time our wedding day rolls around, I’ll feel more comfortable on camera. Private pictures, as we agreed. Anyway, I want to talk to you about the bridesmaid dresses. Since Chi-chi is wearing a suit, you don’t have to match. You can pretty much pick whatever you want.”
“Thank you.” I’ll go without food so that I can afford a designer dress. I’m unsure if I can afford it since I have no idea who the designer is, and even if I knew, I doubt I’d know the prices just by the name. I don’t follow the fashion industry the way Dina does. She knows all the names, dates, colors, trends. If the trend doesn’t involve a baby, I don’t know of it.
Regardless, I ask, “Out of curiosity, where are we going?”
“The Tretti Couture.”
No clue. “Is it in the mall?”
“No, it’s a fashion house. We’re going to the fashion house where they’re going to show us designs and, hopefully, find us dresses.”
Sounds unaffordable to me. But Dina knows my situation. I’m not sure if I should remind her, but I’m embarrassed to talk about money in front of Connor. He’s old wealth. I can tell it’s old because he wears his designer clothing like I wear my grocery-store-bought T-shirts. No big deal. It’s an everyday thing.
We approach L’Octane. Reporters congregate there, and cameras shine lights on the scene. We slow down with the traffic. It’s always congested here as it is. Now I don’t know how we’ll ever get through to wherever we’re going. The streets are packed with cars and people. I don’t care for the cameras.
Behind tinted windows, I bite my lip.
“I told him to drop you off,” Connor says, speaking about Pete. “I told him twice. He wouldn’t listen. There’s a reason I told him that, and a reason he’s in the hospital now. I didn’t like how he looked at you.”
I clear my throat. “How did he look at me?”
He catches my gaze. “Like he wanted you. The trouble with men like Pete, they take what they want no matter what. If you’d let him fuck you, he’d have hurt you.” Connor shrugs. “And not in a good way.”
“You got all that from the way he looked at me?”
“Yes. Initially. There are signs. Men like him like to watch bunnies suffer. For example, his choice of movie. Disregarding your priorities. Dinner with friends, not just you.” He honks at a guy on a moped who zipped by the car, nicking the mirror. He rolls down the window and fixes it. “Those are signs that most people ignore. I don’t. I’m blessed with madness that makes me pay attention. Pete is a known offender.”
“No way!” Dina says, looking horrified. “What did he do?”
“Accused of sexual assault twice, never convicted. His ex-wife charged him with domestic violence.”
“No way,” I repeat. “I didn’t think you could work in health care with those offenses.”
“There were no offenses,” Connor says.
“This is Selnoa,” Dina says, “Everything is corrupt.”
Connor snickers. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Dina laughs. “Oh my God, stop it.”
The traffic crawls along. “Thank you,” I say after silence falls in the car.
“Welcome.”