A night apart would at least give me time to continue developing these devious designs.
Arken needed space, and that was fair. It was so fair, and so incredibly unfair for me to be feeling as frustrated as I was to be giving up a single night in her presence. I needed to let her breathe, relax, and take whatever time she needed.
I just hoped that the time away didn’t come with any newfound clarity. Hoped that the distance, however temporary, would not give way to her better senses of logic and reason, exposing her to the truth.
She could do so much better than the likes of me.
I clearly had confidence in some respects. I knew, deep within my core, there wasn’t a single soul on this plane who could fuck Arken Asher like I could. Nobody could play that perfect body like the delicate and complex instrument it was,quite like my eager hands. If I had to cling to anything at all, it was that when it came to sex, I had shamelessly ruined her for any other.
But there was more to life than sex, even for deviants like us. And despite the reckless urges that had risen in my state of intoxication last night, in the light of day, I knew the truth. I couldnevergive Arken all of me. I could never let myself go that far. Not because I didn’t want to, but because it would be far too dangerous to allow.
Handing Arken my heart would be like signing her death warrant. No matter how badly I wanted to keep her, I knew that I couldn’t. Not forever.
I could be so much for Arken, but I couldn’t be everything. And she deservedeverything.One day, she would figure that out and move on. But until that day came, I was gonna take whatever I could fucking get.
And of course, I took solace in knowing that I would see her tomorrow.
“Of course, Little Conduit,” I’d told her. “Take all the time you need. We can have a night to ourselves, but I’m off shift tomorrow, so I’m taking you out. Deal?”
“Deal,” she’d said with a coy smile—a smile that comforted me deeply, as it suggested she really did just need one night to herself. She wasn’t done with me yet. “Do I get to know where we’re going?”
“An art gallery,” I informed her, smirking to myself. “There’s a local artist I like, and I’ve been following his work for a while now. I think you’ll enjoy his latest collection.”
Her eyes had glimmered with intrigue, but she had no idea what she was in for when it came to Jacquez Moreau-Navarres and the sinful scenes he brought to life with his paintbrush.
It would be a bit of a prelude, I’d decided. A taste of what was waiting for her later, after our day met its end and I finally got her alone again.
It had, indeed, been a long day—but as the sun began to set and I pulled myself out of a hot bath, toweling off and ready to crawl into bed with a book, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a paw scratching against my front door.
“Hello, Bluebell,” I said, affectionately scratching the celestial fox behind the ears before taking the small scroll of parchment from his mouth. “Is your mother bored already?” The semi-corporeal canid vanished into the aether with a tiny hop, and I took Arken’s note inside.
I know this was my idea and all, but am I allowed to say I miss you?
Smiling to myself, I stopped by my office for a stack of parchment and a pen before padding back to my bedroom. I left my window cracked open so that Hekate and Bluebell could come and go as they pleased without interruption, and I settled into the comfort of the soft linen blankets and the pillows that still smelled faintly of Arken’s hair.
Only if I'm allowed to say that I miss you more.
Gods, I really did. I was content to give her the space she needed, if only because I knew that if I didn’t, Arken would only tire of me sooner. I wanted her affections to last as long as humanly possible, and so I hadn’t tried to fight or pester when she’d asked me for this time alone. But I was drowning in both her scent and her absence.
Doubtful, Captain.
I ran my fingertips over the words, feeling the scratching indents from her quill, and letting the feel of her written words summon the sound of her voice in my mind. And what a sweet sound it was.
There were so, so many sweet sounds that girl made for me. Smiling to myself, I penned a response.
Oh, yeah? Just how badly do you miss me, then, Little Conduit?
More than you know.
I was going to need a little more from her thanthat.
That’s the convenient thing about mail sprites, Arken. Through the enchanting power of arcana, notes and letters can be exchanged, giving one the opportunity to explain themselves.
Her star-flecked fox hopped into my lap once more, promptly depositing another scrap of parchment.
Fishing for compliments is beneath a man of your caliber, Kieran.
I cackled. I loved it when this woman used my own words against me. Clever Little Conduit.