“You are.”
“I am not!”
I raised a brow. In the last year, Kieran had paid for damn nearly all of our shared meals—despite my protests. And he often left the staff with ridiculously large tips, even though he knew as well as I did that Sophrosyne ensured all its workers were well compensated for their labor. Beyond that, Kieran would constantly turn up with little gifts that he’d guilt me into accepting with puppy-dog eyes whenever I’d attempted to refuse; pretty leatherbound notebooks and nice pens, sketch pads and a new set of watercolors with a selection of fine boar-bristle brushes, the several pairs of expensive leather training leggings and an enchanted waterskin that kept liquids fresh and cool when we began training.
“Uh huh.”
“Hush, you. And fine, yes. I suppose Ihavebeen spending a bit excessively this year, but that’s only because I needed—” Kieran cut himself off, eyes going distant as he scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck.
“You needed…?” I prompted.
He glanced away, a rare flicker of embarrassment looking out of place against the confidence carved into his striking features.
Holy Hel, was he blushing?
“I think you already know the answer to that, Asher,” he murmured, eyes darkening as he took in my bemused expression.
“I think I’d like to hear you say it out loud, Vistarii.”
Instead of answering, he continued to fuss with the dishes, pulling his lower lip between pointed teeth. Anxiety looked so foreign on Kieran, momentarily making him a stranger to me. My heart sank as I wondered if I’d pushed him too far.
When he glanced back up and saw the concern on my face, he dropped the dishrag in the sink and rounded the breakfast nook in two and a half quick strides. He arrived in front of me with alarming speed, cupping my face with both hands, and kissing me hard.
Ravenously, Kieran pried my lips apart with his insatiable tongue, tasting faintly of tea and vanilla syrup. I sighed into his mouth as one hand slid from my jawline to entangle itself in the mess of curls at the back of my head. It wasn’t until I was breathless and giggling that Kieran concluded his conquest, his eyes burning with lust and maybe…something more.
“I am in desperate need of a bath,” he said roughly, the coarseness in his voice a delicious contrast to the soft sweep of his knuckles against my cheek. “You finish eating, though. I wanna see an empty plate when I get back, Asher.”
“I will eat until I’m full, thank you very much.” I sniffed primly. Amaretta had always taught me to disregard the other villagers when they’d pressure me to finish my food even if I felt sated. Though I never wanted to be wasteful, I had a sensitive stomach, and so I learned to listen to my body first.
“Fair enough,” Kieran acquiesced.
I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head to indicate I knew what he was doing. The hand he’d dealt was a rather obvious attempt to avoid the subject. I knew, but I wasn’t about to callhim on it. Even I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of man Kieran Vistarii might be without his secrets, and I’d grown accustomed to his guarded nature. Sometimes, his walls would come up seemingly out of nowhere at all.
I could hardly hold it against him, given my own circumstances.
But as he drifted toward the hall and I tucked back into my second stack of pancakes, I heard him pause. Then the words tumbled out beneath his breath, measured just loud enough for me to hear.
“Because I needed to get to know you, and that was the easiest way I could think of doing it. Joining you for meals. Following you around. And once Ididget to know you…I couldn’t stay away.”
The sigh he released sounded ragged and achingly heavy.
“I thought I was just getting you out of my system, but as it turned out, I just…needed you near me. Often. Always. I needed it like aether in my godsdamned veins.”
The tip of my nose prickled, the ghost of tears welling up against my lashes as I debated turning around. I considered leaving my pancakes behind to pull Kieran into my arms and tell him the feeling was mutual…but something in the tone of his voice kept the words trapped behind my teeth, my ass remaining planted where it was.
I heard him continue down the hall toward the bathing suite, and wistfully, I let him go.
I had the sense he might need a moment alone after that confession… his words drifting dangerously close to all of the ones I’d left unsaid.
DAY TWO
BETWEEN DREAMS & NIGHTMARES
CHAPTER FOUR
ARKEN
Aheavy cloak of mist shrouds the forest floor as I flee through the darkness—running blind, barefoot, and alone.