“Your weaknesses do not negate your strengths,” I said softly.
She hadn’t said it out loud in so many words, but I saw it in her eyes. I heard the whispers of certain insidious insecurities in her voice.
“And you are defined by your potential,” I continued. “Not by your mistakes. Not by your limitations. And certainly not by the worst things that have happened to you. The Fates are cruel, and accidents happen. But Ineedto know you don’t blame yourself for what happened that night. It was anaccident,Arken. I’ll forgive myself for it, but only if you forgive yourself first.”
“I’ll take it under consideration,” Arken murmured. “But I also disagree with your first point. I can hardly celebrate the growth I’ve yet to achieve—it doesn’t belong to me, yet. I don’t want to be defined by my potential—everybody haspotential.”
“No. Not like you do, Arken.”
Exasperated, Arken ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “You’re biased.”
“I’m really not,” I argued. “Not when it comes to this. You have more potential than at least half of my own fucking cadre, Asher. Don’t give me that look, I amnotexaggerating here. Listen, I have faced off against some of the most powerful Conduits in this godsdamned realm, okay? So believe me when I say the amount of arcane aptitude I’ve seen you display as a half-trained first-year ismind-boggling,and quite frankly, a little fucking terrifying.”
She flinched at that. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” she said quietly.
I scoffed and shook my head. “I’m not.”Not in that way.“Not even close. You misunderstand what I’m trying to say, sweetheart.”
“Well, fuckin’ explain it better then, Vistarii.”
I stifled a smile, so very amused by her temper.
“I hate to be the one to break this to you, Little Conduit, but you’re not the only one in this room with rare and exceptional talents,” I said, my smirk breaking containment. “I am stronger than you, andmaybe,if you’re lucky and incredibly dedicated, you might just eclipse me one day. But that day is too far off to be of any concern to me.”
She seemed to take this into consideration, bringing her eyes back to mine.
“But other people? Normal people? Certain handsy bastards slinking down dark alleyways? They should be afraid of you. They’d be stupid not to be.”
“Do you enjoy it?” Arken asked.
“Enjoy what?”
“Being powerful. Being feared.”
Nowthatwas a loaded question. And yet the honest answer escaped my mouth before I had time to self-edit. “Yes. And yes.”
Ah, Hel.Why did I always have to run my mouth around this girl? I swallowed a grimace, remaining outwardly calm while alarm bells sounded off in my head.
Now, why in the godsdamned fuck would you go and tell her something like that?
Because she’d asked.
I wasn’t exactlyproudof that answer, even if it was undeniable. There was another reason I enjoyed dominance, after all. A much darker reason. Beyond personal preference and beyond what got me off, the desire to hunt, master, andcommand ran deep in my veins. Something truly predatory existed in the cruelty of my bloodline, and the truth was that I didn’t justenjoybeing feared. I loved it. I lived for that shit. The panic before predomination. Any game of cat and mouse was made that much sweeter when you know your victory is essentially inevitable.
I don’t want you to be afraid of me,she’d said in earnest.
And yet part of me, a very fucked up and deranged part of me, absolutely wanted to taste her fears, if only to lick them off her trembling tongue so that I might swallow them whole.
Predatory instincts aside, the last thing I wanted was to see this girl running for the hills. I was about to attempt to explain myself, or at the very least, abuse my silver tongue to make her feel less unsettled, but as I snapped back into focus, I realized that Arken was…sort of smiling? More to herself than anything else, as she seemed to take a thoughtful moment to process my answer, her throat bobbing as she swallowed, and then nodded with newfound confidence. I cocked my head in abject fascination as she began to loosen up again, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“Again?” she chirped.
Sweet fucking Hel, Little Conduit. What even are you?
Maybe this girl really was made for me.
“Again,” I agreed with a wicked grin.
CHAPTER NINE