“And then when you consider everything that Shadow seems torepresentto humans—even though we fear the darkness, it can almost be comforting to know—”
She broke off for a moment, looking sheepish. “Sorry. I’m veering off into poetics and philosophy here.”
“No, continue,” I said gently. “What’s comforting?”
The way this woman saw the world was so godsdamned refreshing. It was fascinating to listen to her slip back and forth between casual speech, and a much more formalized, academic voice. She had an impressively elegant command of language, especially considering she had only been attending the Studium for mereweeks. I knew of only a few others who could make the transition between tones so seamlessly.
“Well, I’ve always seen it like… Okay. If you go swimming or seafaring, you’ll experience an absence of Earth aether beneath your feet for a while, right? And clearly, we’re all blind in the absence of Light aether in the dead of night. Fire has to be summoned, and Water may be present in our bodies but it’s not readily available no matter where you are otherwise, right?”
I nodded, vaguely understanding where she was going with this.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a circumstance where there was no Shadow aether to be found. Because even in broad daylight, I cast my own shadow. I can sense that energy and its presence.”
Her gaze drifted from my eyes to her lap for a moment as she paused to think.
“To me, that almost suggests that there’s darkness in all things, by default. Even if it’s slight, just barely noticeable, Shadow is a constant in life. And I suppose that just resonates with me.”
“And why is that?” I asked softly.
Her fingers worried absently at the hem of her sleeve as she spoke, pulling at the threads. A nervous habit, perhaps?
“When you think about what Shadow represents—what humanity has attributed to darkness, even though we know that aether has no true emotional ties—we associate Shadow with things like… pain, or grief,emotionaldarkness in the context of poetry and art,” Arken continued. “And as humans, it feels like we fear those things in life just as much as we fear that total blindness in the dark. And yet it’s inevitable, is it not? Darkness is as inevitable as Shadow in life, and I find that to be more comforting than unsettling, for whatever reason.”
For a moment, I just stared at her. A strange blend of awe, appreciation and discomfort—feeling somewhat exposed by her insights.
A Light Conduit, comforted by the Shadows.
An unfamiliar swell of emotion was brewing in my chest, but I kept that side of me in its designated vise grip. Compartmentalized it, locked it away. Tossed the key into the Abyss. Yet even so, I was fascinated by this woman. I wanted to know so much more about her. Despite my better judgment, I wanted to knoweverything.
People who saw the true inevitability of pain and suffering in this world had often experienced enough of it to harden themselves, developing walls to weather that storm. Arken was still so very open, so soft.
How?
“I can’t say that I’ve ever thought about it like that,” I replied. “But I’m inclined to agree with you. That said, Light is just as incredible. It’s nearly as constant as Shadow, and you are much more rare than I am around here, Little Conduit.”
Arken seemed to visibly relax, her smile turning serene, as if she’d been anticipating that I wouldn’t take her seriously.Strange.
“I do hope you’re prepared for an onslaughtof Shadow-related questions if you make a continued habit of stalking me,” she said with a coy smile over another sip of tea.
Don’t tempt me with a good time, Little Conduit.
Because Source be damned, that was tempting. The impulse to make her a habit was already stirring, alongside an even darker desire to stalk the poor woman from the Shadows. I had trained myself out of such curiosities a long, long time ago, and yet…
“I’ve got quite a few questions for you, myself,” I murmured.
“Like what?”
Arken tilted her head in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected such a thing. For such a clever creature, she seemed to have a stunning lack of self-awareness when it came to how godsdamnedalluringshe was.
I chuckled.
“I’m not sure we have time for that this afternoon,” I said, though I wished it weren’t the case.
“Oh, come on, Captain! At least ask meone.”
She wasn’t forcing my hand, per se, but I didn’t want the conversation to end, either. I decided to go for the low-hanging fruit, something that was top of mind after listening to her speak for the better part of the last hour.
“Where did you study before coming to Sophrosyne? Did you go to preparatory courses in Elseweire or something?”