No, I couldn’t bring myself to regret any of this, though flickers of guilt passed through me every now and again as I stroked her hair.
Had I manipulated her into this?
Consent was paramount to me, and I knew I had given her adequate space to make her own decisions, but I knew damn well what I was doing, teasing her like that after tending to her head. I could tell that she thought we were just playing that same old game, toeing the line to see who would chicken out first, but she hadn’t realized I was playing to win this time around. Or that she was my prize.
The moment she’d kissed me, I had gotten exactly what I wanted out of that little exchange. I hadn’t even dreamed that I would actually get her to kiss me—would have never guessed that I would getanyof this—but I’d needed to try. I felt like I would’ve died on the spot if I ignored those impulses again.
Still, perhaps it had been wrong of me to push her like that. To even tempt her in the first place. But fuck if the taste of her mouth wasn’t worth it. And I would go to the literal ends of this realm and back to taste the rest of her again.
Just before Arken fell asleep, I felt her lips move as she murmured against my skin.
“I would hardly call that duress, Vistarii.”
I chuckled softly.
“All in due time, Little Conduit.”
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Arken
The days that followed were an inexplicable blur of heated flesh, tangled limbs, and gasping pleasure—all sought out with reckless abandon. The moment Kieran had touched me behind closed doors, the very second his mouth had met mine, it was as though I had never been touched before. Not in this lifetime, nor any other. I was a ravenous, starving thing, losing hours upon days of my life to the throes of desire—my most carnal impulses. Greedily, I took, and graciously, he gave.
Kieran and I had already been inseparable before—but now?Gods above and below, we were practically living together. As soon as I got out of a lecture, or within minutes of Kieran finishing his shifts, we both ended up in the same place, day after day: At the other’s doorstep.
We hadn’t spent a single night alone after falling into bed together that first night. That first kiss had been over a week ago now… and yet every spare second,every waking momentwas being invaded by this desperate need to be near him, this driving force that I couldn’t quite comprehend.
Strangely, I found that I did not mind the intrusion. I was typically a creature who craved her personal space, needing time alone from the world to reset after each day. I was too easily overwhelmed, so often overstimulated… but Kieran had become my reset, my respite.
This wasn’t just lust, it waslunacy—and I was blissfully lost in this mutual madness of ours.
We had even tried to stay away from one another last night. It had been an experiment of sorts, an attempt to convince ourselves that we could preserve some semblance of rationality in whatever the Hel was going on between us. But then Kieran kept sending me dirty little notes all godsdamned night until I had outrightdemandedhe come over and make good on certain promises—and he showed up with that stupid smirk plastered to his face like that had been his plan all along.
Cocky bastard.
At least today was his day off. We’d actually managed to leave the bedroom for once in favor of visiting one of his favorite galleries in the arts district, where a local painter had some new works on display. Kieran had failed to mention the subject matter of this particular exhibit, though.
A stunning study of oil paintings and the feminine form… with most of said feminine forms being bound by ropes in a variety of intricate patterns and positions. It was all rather tasteful, but the man knew damn well what he was doing.
“Trying to imply something here, Captain?” I murmured quietly as we browsed through the gallery, which was largely empty this time of day.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied, his tall figure leaning over mine from behind, one hand resting against the small of my back.
It hadn’t taken him very long at all to start touching me in public, in subtle ways like this that made my heartbeat erratic for multiple reasons.
The two of us were particularly physical people, and it’s not like we had really shied away from touching one another before all of this played out—we’d often nudge and shove the other around, even as friends.
As friends.
My mind lingered on the word for just a moment before it became deeply uncomfortable, and so I simply brushed it off. I could unpack that later, at another time where his breath wasn’t hot against my neck.
“Ah, right, of course not,” I parried, already bracing myself for how he was going to react to my snark. “Because that wholeduressthing was just a joke, right?”
I felt him stiffen behind me, and could practically feel the heat radiate off his body as he dipped his head, his mouth beside my ear again. His voice dropped dangerously low.
“Is this really the game you wanna play right now, Little Conduit?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I mimicked.