“Not good.” Maddie glances across the yard to where Dragon stands, talking with several club members. Even from here, I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands clench and unclench at his sides. “He blames himself. Says he should have known there was a snake in our midst.” She shakes her head. “He keeps saying if he hadn’t been at that warehouse, if he’d been at the clubhouse instead, Gunner would still be alive.”
The guilt Dragon is feeling is painfully familiar. I’ve been carrying my own version of it since that night. If I hadn’t gone outside alone, if I’d somehow managed to warn Gunner that David had a gun…
“I’ve never seen him like this,” Maddie continues, her voice dropping. “Dragon’s always been the strong one, the one who holds everything together. But this…” She trails off, pushing her food around some more. “He’s not sleeping. Every night he’s up going through security footage, checking our vetting procedures, trying to figure out how David got past all our safeguards.”
“It wasn’t his fault,” I say softly. “David fooled everyone.”
“I know that. You know that.” Maddie sighs. “Dragon knows it intellectually, but getting him to believe it here—” she taps her chest over her heart, “—that’s another story.”
My eyes drift across the yard to where Nicole sits with Gigi and several other old ladies. Her face is pale, her movements slow and mechanical as she takes tiny bites of food someone must have insisted she eat.
Maddie follows my gaze. “Poor Nicole,” she says, her voice heavy with sympathy. “She and Gunner were high school sweet hearts.”
“That’s a long time,” I murmur, trying to imagine the depth of such a loss. Nicole and Gunner had built their entire adult lives around each other. What happens when half of such a tight unit is suddenly gone?
“Dragon assigned her a new room at the clubhouse,” Maddie continues. “She couldn’t face using their old one.” She takes a small bite of her potato salad, chewing thoughtfully. “She has a sister in New York and her mother lives in a retirement community in Arizona. But there’s no one close by.”
“That has to be hard.” I murmur. “Has she said what she wants to do?”
A small, sad smile touches Maddie’s lips. “She wants to stay here. Dragon already told her she could stay with the club as long as she needs. Forever, if that’s what she wants.” She glances over at Dragon again. “He sat with her that first night, when you all got back from the warehouse. Told her that Gunner was hisbrother, which makes her his sister, and that she’ll always have a home here, always be taken care of.”
Something warm unfurls in my chest at this. For all his intimidating presence, for all the violence I know he’s capable of, Dragon’s care for his people is undeniable.
“That’s really good of him,” I say, meaning it. After two years of thinking of MC clubs as dangerous and violent, and to be fair, they certainly can be, I’ve seen another side of them during my stay here. The loyalty, the fierce protection they offer to those they consider family.
Maddie’s expression softens, a smile replacing her earlier strained one. “We take care of our people,” she says simply, as if this explains everything. And in a way, it does.
Those five words encapsulate what I’ve observed over these past weeks. Despite the violence, despite the danger, despite operating outside the boundaries of normal society, there’s a code here. A set of values that, while different from what most would consider mainstream, creates a tight-knit community that protects its own. That stands together in the face of both joy and grief. That refuses to let one of its own face the darkness alone.
I think about my life back in Billings; my job, my house, my routine. I had colleagues I was friends with, neighbors I waved to, men I dated. But if something had happened to me, who would have gathered to remember my life? Who would have promised to take care of my cats, to make sure they were fed and loved? Before Roman came back into my life, before I was brought into this world of cuts and brotherhood, the answer might have been nobody.
“Yeah,” I say softly, watching as Gigi pats Nicole’s hand, as Dragon moves to stand protectively near them both. “I’m starting to see that.”
Maddie reaches over and squeezes my hand once, then returns to her food. We eat in companionable silence, both lostin our own thoughts as the celebration of Gunner’s life continues around us, the club taking care of its own in the only way it knows how — together.
39
Chapter 39
Kayla
I stab at my salad, trying not to smile too obviously as I read the text Roman just sent. It’s nothing special, just him letting me know he’s thinking of me, but the little heart emoji at the end has me grinning like a teenager with her first crush.
When I finally look up, Cassie is watching me with that knowing smirk that means I’m about to get teased mercilessly.
“So,” she says, dragging the word out as she takes a sip of her iced tea, “any exciting plans this weekend?”
I shrug, attempting nonchalance. “Nothing special. Just the usual.”
“The usual being a certain hot tattooed biker who has the audacity to not have any brothers?” Cassie raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow.
The heat that crawls up my neck betrays me before I can even formulate a denial. “Maybe.”
Cassie laughs, the sound bright and knowing. “God, look at your face! The sex must be phenomenal if he has you looking like that.”
My fork freezes halfway to my mouth. “We’re not—” I stop, oddly embarrassed. “We haven’t actually slept together yet.”
Now it’s Cassie’s turn to freeze. “You’re kidding me. You’ve been seeing him almost every day for months and you’re telling me you two haven’t…” She makes a crude gesture with her hands.