He nodded. “Marks left by veilbound bargains disappear once they’re fulfilled.”
I stared at him, unsure as to how to feel about the news of our bargain ending. In truth, I’d grown used to my tattoo’s incessant prickling, to the point that it had become something of a crutch, a reminder that Casimir was nearby. But now was not the moment to overanalyze my complicated feelings about our bargain. No, my foremost concern was Gwen, whose memories had been altered by softmagic without her consent. Gwen, who must be utterly confused and distraught over her girlfriend’s sudden death and my unexplained absence over the past few days.
“I need to go,” I muttered distractedly.
Casimir looked utterly bewildered. “Go?” he repeated.
“Yes. I need to check on Gwen. I’ll be back later.”
“Wait,” he said, reaching out to touch my arm before snatching back his hand, thinking better of it. “I’ll come with you.”
“No,” I snapped. “You’ve done enough.”
His eyes hardened at the harsh accusation, but he shook his head stubbornly.
“You need to be careful, Farrow. Gwen doesn’t know about the Order. She doesn’t remember any of it.” His brows furrowed in consternation. “What exactly do you plan to say to her?”
“I…” I hesitated.What was my plan?I didn’t know what to say to her. I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth. All I could offer her were words of comfort, useless and empty atonements. It was this knowledge of my own uselessness that left a foul taste in my mouth, more bitter than all the lies I’d told.
“I just need to be there for her,” I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “Gwen didn’t deserve any of this, and it’s my fault she’s suffering.”
A muscle in Casimir’s jaw visibly clenched. “It is in no way your fault,” he ground out. “Neha’s death was…an unfortunate casualty. And despite your recklessness Sunday night, I am very glad Gwen survived unscathed.”
“Unscathed?” I repeated in hot indignation. “Unscathed, is she? After her memories were tampered with and she woke up to read about her girlfriend’s supposed suicide in this morning’s copy ofThe Gargoyle?” I gave a derisive snort.
Casimir winced. “I only meant—she was not injured in a physical sense, which is more than I can say for some.”
“Perhaps you are the one who ought to be careful with your words,” I retorted.
He bowed his head in concession. “Yes, perhaps you’re right.” His jaw clicked again. “Regardless, I am coming with you. I’ll stand outside while you and Gwen…talk.”
My eyes narrowed. “Don’t trust me not to reveal your secrets?”
“It’s got nothing to do with trust,” he growled, glaring back at me. “I wouldn’t put it past Devereaux to seek you out in order to finish what he started.”
“Why would he do that, when I’m bound to serve as the Order’s emissary?”
At the mention of my bloodbargain, Casimir’s expression darkened, but he didn’t deign to reply. He knew I was right.
We arrivedat Ash Hall at midday, my fingers twitching with anxiety over Gwen. What sort of state would I find her in?
The dormitory was dark, and at first, I thought it must be empty. But as my eyes adjusted to the blackness, I made out Gwen’s shape beneath a heavy pile of blankets.
“Gwen,” I whispered as I tread lightly over to her bed. “It’s me.”
Gwen didn’t move.
“Gwen?” I spoke her name softly.
A muffled noise emitted from somewhere under the blankets.
“What?” I asked.
Gwen’s face emerged from beneath the bedding, her hazel eyes puffy and ringed with exhaustion. “I said, where were you?”
I flinched at the accusation in her tone. “I’m so sorry, Gwen. I… just heard what happened. I was… ” I swallowed hard. “I was with Casimir.”
She didn’t respond and instead averted her gaze, glaring into the darkness.