Yeah, I needed to go get some French fries or something.
As I left the counter with a basket full of savory Thai-seasoned fries, Phee Vanderhart sashayed right up to me, followed by her long-time understudy Joan, who was an aggressively blonde woman with big Chiclet teeth.
Now Phee had always been my singing idol as a kid. I wanted tobeher. Drop-dead gorgeous and confident, with an immaculate perfect voice.
But after breaking up my wedding that fan energy was thoroughly gone.
“Done with Forrest already and trying to dump him off on me?” I asked.
“What happened wasn’t personal,” Phee said coolly. “We just have a lot of history.”
I shrugged.
“I wasn’t even alive for most of this history. I get it. No hard feelings.”
She didn’t expect that, and oh, it pissed her off.
“You know, he’ll always come back to me, Birdie.”
“Well,” I shrugged, gesturing to where Forrest had just slid a bowling ball down the lane, scattering the pins all over. How was the man randomly good at this? God, I loathed him.
“Go get him. You won’t hear any objections from me.”
Phee went slack-jawed for a moment, because apparently she’d been expecting me tobegher to relinquish him.
“Oh,please,Birdie. I know you’re madly in love with him.”
I took a step forward, right in her face, even though she was taller than me by about a foot.
“Take Forrest. Please run along with him. Keeps me from having to deal with him over here begging for a second chance.”
“He is not.”
“Isn’t he?”
Phee hesitated, indecisive, and Joan started, her face too-tight and pinched.
“It’s your fault Phee got fired from the show.”
I shrugged.
“Take it up with Forrest. If he’s so pussywhipped by you, then surely he’ll agree.”
Phee flushed angrily, and for the first time I saw the cracks in her elegant façade.
“You’re such a conniving little whore—"
Then I heard a cold voice from behind me.
“You’rebothfucking fired now. And get out of Birdie’s face.”
“Me? I didn’t even do anything,” Joan whined.
“And Phee?” Forrest growled, putting an arm around my waist and dragging me back. “I would choose Birdie in any lifetime. Pausing the wedding was because I wanted to hear you beg. Not because I wanted to be with you or had any doubts about Birdie.”
Phee’s nostrils flared with rage, and she could hardly miss the possessive way Forrest was dragging me away like a caveman.
“Fine, you dirty old man! Enjoy your Phantom without a fucking Christine then!” she shrieked, and heads were turningall over now, people getting out their cameras to record, because of courseeverybodyrecognized Forrest.