Lucien.
The memory of the way he looked at me earlier today, the way his voice sounded when he said he would walk away if that’s what I wanted. For a moment I close my eyes. And I wonder which loss hurts more.
By the time I walk back home, my thoughts are so loud they feel like they’re echoing inside my skull. I push the front door open and step inside. The house is quiet. I drop my keys on the counter and force myself to move. If I keep busy, maybe my mind will slow down. I start in the kitchen, wiping the counters, reorganizing the cabinets, putting dishes away that were already clean.
Anything to keep my hands moving. Anything to stop thinking. Minutes blur into each other, then an hour. Maybe more. Time slips by quietly while I move from room to room, straightening pillows, wiping the table again even though it’s already clean, rearranging things that don’t need rearranging. The sound of a car pulling into the driveway snaps me out of it. Headlights sweep across the living room wall through the window before the engine shuts off and the front door opens a moment later.
“Era?” His voice carries through the house as he steps inside and closes the door behind him.
Slowly, he slips off his shoes and lines them up by the wall like he always does. He hangs his coat on the hook near the door, his movements quieter than usual. For a moment he just stands there in the entryway, thinking like he’s choosing his words before he says them.
Then he walks into the kitchen where I’m standing. “I know it’s been hard,” he says softly.
My brows pull together. “What?”
He exhales slowly. “Me working so much,” he continues. “Seven days a week sometimes. I know it puts a strain on us.” I blink, caught off guard. “I should’ve realized sooner,” he adds. “I promise I’ll be better.” His hand reaches for mine. “I’ve been thinking,” he says carefully. Something about the way he says it makes my stomach tighten. “Maybe… maybe you should quit your job.”
I stare at him. “What?, Why?”
“We don’t need the extra stress,” he continues gently. “You don’t have to work if you don’t want to.”
My mind is spinning.
“And maybe…” he adds quietly. His eyes soften. “Maybe it’s time we start thinking about having a baby.”
The words hit me like a wave.
A child.
Dominic has never wanted kids right away. He always said the same thing. We have time, let’s enjoy each other first, let’s travel. See theworld. But now he’s looking at me like something inside him has changed. Like he’s suddenly ready.
He steps closer and cups my face gently. “I love you,” he says softly. His thumb brushes my cheek. “And I want a family with you.” His voice warms as he speaks, like he’s picturing it. “Imagine it,” he murmurs. “A house full of life… little footsteps running around… a future that’s ours.”
For a moment the image almost feels real. Almost beautiful. But my heart starts pounding. I’m suddenly terrified to say no, terrified of what he might do if I do.
So I force a small smile. “Yes,” I whisper. “Of course.” My voice feels distant. “I’d love that.” Fear coils tightly in my chest.
Dominic’s face lights up. Relief spreads across his expression so quickly it almost looks like the tension he carried through the door has disappeared. Before I can react, he pulls me into his arms, his embrace is tight and one hand settles against the small of my back while the other comes up to cradle the side of my face.
He kisses me. Slow at first, like he’s savoring the moment, like this is something he’s been waiting to hear for a long time. Then the kiss deepens with excitement, his happiness almost spilling over. I can feel the way his body relaxes against mine, the way his shoulders loosen as if a weight has been lifted off him. His hands slide gently along my waist, pulling me closer against his chest. For a moment I just stand there in his arms, letting it happen, letting him believe everything is fine.
“Dom—” I say softly. He pauses immediately, pulling back just enough to look at me. “I’m on my period,” I tell him.
A lie.
“But… I’d love to. Just not tonight.”
For a second he looks disappointed, but then he laughs quietly and nods. “Of course.” Then a grin spreads across his face. “You know what? We should celebrate anyway.” He stretches his arms slightly, rolling his shoulders like he’s trying to shake off the exhaustion of the day. “I’m exhausted from work, but I’ll order Chinese.” He walks toward the counter, already pulling out his phone. “And we’ll watch a movie,” he says. “Whatever you want.”
I nod quietly.
“Okay.”
Dominic smiles at me, like everything between us has been fixed, like the future he just imagined is already starting. But as I stand there in the kitchen watching him scroll through the delivery app…
I go still.
Because the truth sits heavily inside me.