The river.
The lanterns.
His hands on my cheeks.
The warmth of his hands at my waist.
For a moment it feels like my heart is being pulled. A part of me remembers how full it felt standing next to him and how easy it was to breathe when he was close. I swallow, forcing the words out. “I can’t Lucien. It’s over. This whole thing was a mistake.” My voice is softer and sadder than I expect. “It meant nothing.” The words feel heavier than they should. Like they’re breaking something fragile between us the moment they leave my mouth.
Lucien doesn’t answer right away. He just looks at me. Deeply. Waiting for me to take the words back, waiting for me to change my mind. Myeyes drop to the floor because I don’t dare look at him again. I know if I do, the certainty in my voice might disappear.
The silence stretches between us. Then he exhales quietly. “Alright,” he says. His voice is calm, but there’s something broken underneath it. “If that’s what you want.” I hear him shift his weight slightly. “I’m not walking away because I want to,” he adds softly. “I’m walking away because you’re asking me to.”
My breathing turns shallow. Footsteps. He moves past me toward the door as I keep staring at the floor. Part of me expects him to stop, to turn around, to tell me I’m wrong. To tell me I’m lying. I stand there, frozen, like I’m waiting for him to come back. But he doesn’t. A moment later the door closes quietly behind him and I finally look up. The office is empty, Lucien is gone and something sinks inside my chest. I step out into the hallway, my vision slightly blurred.
That’s when I almost run into Andrew.
“Hey—hey,” he says, catching my arm gently. “You okay?”
He studies my face with genuine concern. I try to pull myself together. “I’m fine,” I say quickly.
Andrew squints slightly. “I’d hug you,” he says jokingly, “but I really don’t want to get called into HR today.”
Despite everything, I let out a small laugh. “I just had a paper cut,” I say vaguely.
Andrew raises an eyebrow. “That’s the most dramatic reaction to a paper cut I’ve ever seen.”
I shake my head with a weak smile. “Can I leave early today?” I ask. “I’m not feeling well.”
Andrew nods immediately. “Yeah, of course. Go home. We’ll survive without you for a day.”
“Thanks.” I grab my bag and head out of the office before my emotions catch up with me. The drive home feels longer than usual. My hands stay tight around the steering wheel as the road stretches endlessly in front of me. My mind won’t stop replaying everything.
Dominic, Lucien, the blood in the sink, the way Lucien looked at me before he walked away. Two completely different worlds pulling at me in opposite directions and my chest feels heavy with it. By the time I pull into the driveway, my vision is already blurring. I park the car and sit there for a moment.
And then it hits me. The tears come suddenly, spilling down my face before I can stop them. I grip the steering wheel as I cry, my shoulders shaking with the weight of everything I’m carrying. The truth I’m too afraid to face. Eventually the tears slow. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my jacket and step out of the car. The front door opens with a quiet creak and I walk inside.
CHAPTER 16
Monster
I need to get my mind off things and sitting in this house isn’t helping. I change out of my work clothes, pulling on a pair of leggings and a loose sweatshirt. The air outside sticks to my skin when I step out the front door, the quiet of the neighborhood settling around me. I start walking without really thinking about where I’m going. After a few minutes I pull out my phone, call Clara and she answers immediately.
“Well?” she says. “Did you confront him yet?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“I mean… no,” I say. “And something else happened today.”
There’s a pause.
“What happened?” she asks, her voice suddenly serious.
“I talked to Lucien.”