“How can I help him?”
I’m not certain I can because I’m as fucked in the head and the heart as he is. Two broken souls don’t make a whole one. There will always be the crack down the middle that either one of them could slip through.
I nod, clutching the towel around me as I falter, “I’ll, um, change. I won’t be long.”
“You are fine as you are.”
Her sweet smile rattles my doubts, and I nod, cautiously following her like Joseph did to the black room.
We step inside and my heart falls when I note Joseph lying on the bench, naked, his clothes a mere heap on the floor. He has been restrained; he is still, silent, and only his erratic breathing disturbs the peace.
The beast has been caught.
“Joseph.”
Su Yin is confident.
“Your wife will hold your hand during this session.”
He says nothing, and as I approach, it’s as if I am seeing him for the first time. Tentatively, I reach out and slip my fingers into his, that hang limply down through their chains.
He has the blindfold on, and I wonder what he’s thinking now, but the gentle pressure of his hand tells me I’m welcome at least.
Su Yin moves to his head and runs her fingers through his hair, pressing down, her soothing voice commanding.
“Tell me what you see, Joseph.”
“I don’t see him.”
His voice cracks as he hisses, “Where is he?”
“Who do you see?”
“Nothing. An empty room. Why did he leave me?”
I hold my breath as his voice slides like a serpent over my soul. Terrifying, hypnotizing, as if waiting for it to strike and unable to do anything about it.
“Make him come back.”
His voice bleeds pain, and he grips my hand tighter. This time more out of desperation than reassurance.
“He’s gone, Joseph.”
Su Yin’s soothing voice cracks the intensity.
“His job is done. He has moved on, and so should you.”
“NO!”
His loud roar causes me to jump as he screams. “I want him back! Make him come back to me!” His voice drops. “He promised never to leave me.”
This is soul-destroying as I watch my husband break and he begs, “Please, Su Yin. Bleed my pain. Bring him back to me.”
“Kiss him.”
Her low voice causes me to jump, and I stare at her in horror, because what will that achieve? He’ll hate me for it. He doesn’t want me, he wants Zac; it’s obvious he can’t live without his ghost.
“Do it.”