And she would miss him until the day she died.
When the kettle boiled, she poured her tea, then sat with it at the kitchen table. After a moment, she shoved it aside, laid her head on her folded hands and wept again.
“Libby.”
She knocked the chair over as she rose. He was there, standing in the doorway, fatigue all over his face and something, something much more powerful, in his eyes. She rubbed hers. He couldn’t be there.
“Caleb?”
“Why are you crying?”
She heard him. Dazed, she pressed a hand against her ear. “Caleb.” She repeated. “But how—I heard, I saw— You’re gone.”
“Have you been crying since I left?” He stepped toward her but only touched a fingertip to her damp cheek.
His touch was real. If she was mad, she accepted it. “I don’t understand. How can you be here?”
“I have a question to ask you first.” He dropped his hands to his sides. “Just one question. Are you in love with me?”
“I—I need to sit down.”
“No.” He caught her arm and held her still. “I want an answer. Are you in love with me?”
“Yes. Only an idiot would have to ask.”
He smiled, but his grip held firm. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want—I knew you had to go.” Dizzy, she put a hand to her head. “Let me sit.”
He released her, then watched her sink unsteadily into a chair.
“I haven’t slept,” she murmured, as if to herself. “I suppose I could be hallucinating.”
He tilted her head back, then planted a hard, bruising kiss on her mouth. Before he could stop himself, he dragged her halfway out of the chair. “Is that real enough for you?”
“Yes,” she said weakly. “Yes. But I don’t understand. How can you be here?”
He let her go again. “I rode the cycle.”
“No, I mean...” What did she mean? “I was standing at the door. I heard you take off. I even saw, just a glimpse, but I saw the ship in the sky.”
“I sent it back. The computer’s at the helm.”
“You sent it back,” she repeated slowly. “Oh, my God, Caleb, why?”
“Only an idiot would have to ask.”
Her eyes filled and spilled over. “No, not for me. I can’t bear it. Your family—”
“I left a disk for them. I told them everything, a great deal more than what’s in the report I left on board. Where I was, why I had to stay. If the ship makes it back, and it has as good a chance without me as it did with me, they’ll understand.”
“I can’t ask you to do this.”
“You didn’t.” He took her hand before she could turn away again. “You would have gone with me, wouldn’t you, Libby?”
“Yes.”
“I might have taken you up on that if I’d been sure we would have lived through it. Listen to me.” He drew her to her feet. “I’d started countdown. I’d convinced myself that my life was back there where I’d left it. There were a dozen logical reasons why I had to go. And there was one, only one, reason I had to stay. I love you. My life is here.” He tightened his grip, brought her close. “I came through time for you, Libby. Don’t ever, ever think I made a mistake.”