“I understand perfectly.” She looked back at him. Yes, she was calm again, she realized. Calm, with her mind clear and her heart content. “Cal made a token protest—more for Libby’s sake than mine, really. But when I spoke with her she understood. She brought me to the ship herself this afternoon, when you were busy with Cal.”
“Your parents...”
“Would want me to be happy.” There was a pang, a deep one, when she thought of them. “Libby and Cal will explain everything to them.” Because she was sure her legs were steady again, she rose to walk around the flight deck. “I’m not saying they won’t be sad, or that they won’t miss me if it isn’t possible to go back. But I think my father—particularly my father—will get a tremendous charge when he thinks of where I am.” She laughed. “WhenI am.”
She turned back, still smiling. “Neither of us is good at compromising, J.T. With us, it’s all or nothing. That’s why we’ll get along so well.”
“I would have come back.” He covered his face with his hands, then dragged them back through his hair. “Damn it, Sunny, I told you I’d come back. A year, maybe two or three.”
“I didn’t want to wait that long.”
“You idiot, if I had managed to perfect it I’d have been back five minutes after I’d left, in your time.”
Her time. It struck him so hard, so deep, that he wasn’t sure he could speak. “You had no right to make a decision like this without discussing it with me.”
“It’s my decision.” Riled, she stalked back to him. “If you don’t want me, then I’ll just find some nice, appreciative companions. Maybe on Mars. I can take care of myself, pal. Just consider that I’ve hitched a ride.”
“It has nothing to do with what I want. It’s what’s best for you.”
“I know what’s best for me.” She rapped a fist on his chest. “I thought it was you, but I’ve made one or two mistakes before.” She spun away and took two steps before he grabbed her.
“Where are you going to go?” he demanded. “There’s still a few thousand kilometers before we hit breathable atmosphere.”
“It’s a big ship.”
“Sit down.”
“I don’t—”
“I said sit down.” He gave her a none-too-gentle shove that sent her sprawling into the chair. “And shut up. I have something to say to you.” When she braced her hands on the arms of the chair, he lifted a fist. “If you get up, I swear I’m going to belt you.”
Seething, she sat back. “That’s one term that appears to have survived the centuries.”
“If I’d known what you were planning I’d have used that term before. There were risks involved here that you have no conception of. If I’d made a mistake, a miscalculation, even the slightest—”
“But you didn’t.”
“That’s not the point.”
“What is the point, Hornblower?”
“You shouldn’t have done this.”
She let out an impatient breath. “Well, it’s no use belaboring that point, because I have done it. Why don’t we move on to the next step?”
He found he had to sit himself. “You may never be able to get back.”
“I know. I’ve accepted that.”
“If you change your mind—”
“Jacob.” Sighing, she rose, only to kneel beside him. “I can’t change my mind unless I change my heart. And that’s just not possible.”
He reached out to touch her hair. “I wouldn’t have asked this of you.”
“I know. And if I had asked to come with you you would have given me half a dozen very logical reasons why I couldn’t.” She turned her face into his palm. “And you’d have been wrong. What I couldn’t do is live without you.”
“Sunny.”