“No.” With a little sigh, she put a hand on his arm. “No, it didn’t.”
“She’s strong,” he said. His control had slipped a few notches when he’d heard the understanding in her voice. “She won’t allow herself to hurt for long. If I can’t come back...” The pain ripped through him, forcing him to take a slow, deep breath. “If I can’t come back, she’ll go on.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I have to.” He dragged an unsteady hand through his hair. With the ache rippling through him, he told her what he hadn’t been able to tell Sunny. What he hadn’t wanted to face himself. “I haven’t perfected the procedure. This time I was months off. The next time, if there is one, I may be years off. She may have started a new life. I have to accept that.”
She smiled at him. “I study people. When you make it a profession, you learn more than tradition and social mores. You learn that real love, lasting love, is very rare. It should never be simply accepted, J.T. It should be cherished.”
He gazed across the white world he was just beginning to understand. “I’ll think of her every day for the rest of my life.”
“Have you never heard the wordcompromise?”
“I’m not very good at it. If I could find one, I’d learn to be good at it. I can only tell you that everything I do from the moment I get back will be geared toward finding a way to return here, within a day, within an hour, of the time I left.”
Moved, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. It surprised her when his arms came around her, held her. Without hesitating, she returned the embrace.
“Take care of them. Both of them.”
“I will.” She tightened her hold briefly, then smiled when she saw Cal walking toward them. Kissing Jacob again, she released him before she held out a hand for Cal’s. “Why don’t I go make some breakfast?”
“Thanks.” Cal’s fingers squeezed hers. “I love you.”
With a quick smile, she headed back to the cabin.
“Is Sunny inside?”
Cal turned back to his brother. “She came back early.” He put a hand on Jacob’s arm to restrain him. “J.T., she asked me to tell you that she wishes you a safe trip but she can’t say goodbye again.”
“The hell with that.”
“Jacob.” Cal shifted to block his brother’s path. “She needs to do it this way. Believe me, it won’t help her if you try to see her again.”
“Just cut it off clean?” Jacob pulled out of Cal’s hold. “As simple as that?”
“I didn’t say it was simple. There’s no one who knows better how you feel than I do. If you love her,” he continued, “let her have her way in this.”
Holding up his hands, Jacob whirled and strode a few paces off. Pain roiled inside him, pain edged with resentment. She wouldn’t even see him one last time. Already she was just a memory. Perhaps it was best, he told himself, best that he could believe she was already getting on with her life.
If he could do nothing else for her, he could honor this last request.
“All right. Tell her...” He trailed off, swearing. He would never be able to find the words for what he was feeling. Even if he’d had Cal’s knack for poetry, the phrases would have fallen short.
“She knows,” Cal told him. “Come on inside.”
***
In the afternoon they drove him to the ship. He wondered if Sunny was watching from a window as they disappeared into the forest. But when he looked back, searching, the sun was glaring on the glass and he could see nothing.
Cal talked constantly, trying to fill the void with chatter. Jacob saw that he reached for Libby’s hand, held it tight.
And he was denied even that, he thought. Even one last touch.
Cursing Sunny, he climbed out of the car. “I’ll tell Mom and Dad everything.”
Cal nodded. “Get back to the lab. I want to know that you’ll come back and bring them for a visit.”
“I’ll be back.” He embraced his brother.