Drakkal tilted his head, studying Arcanthus closely. “You saying you want a cub, Arc?”
“I…” Arcanthus’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he chuckled and smirked. “Yes. I think that’s exactly what I’m getting at.”
“Just to be clear, sedhi, Leah’smine. Get your own.”
“Thatwouldbe the plan, azhera…whenever Sam’s ready, that is. Strange how I’d never even considered the notion before Samantha. Even now, I have a hard time imagining myself as a father.”
“Me, too.”
“But you are one now.”
Drakkal grinned. “Meant I have a hard time picturing you as a father, too.”
Arcanthus’s brows rose. “Oh? Well then, you can go fuck yourself.” He leaned back, crossed one leg over his opposite knee, and spread his arms to either side along the backrest. “What was it you wanted to discuss?”
Drawing in a deep breath, Drakkal leaned forward and settled his elbows on his thighs. “Need to tell you the truthabout something I haven’t been honest about for a long, long time.”
“This ought to be interesting.”
“Just…let me tell you before you give me any shit, all right?”
Arcanthus lifted a hand, gesturing lazily for Drakkal to continue.
“I told you I was living with a female before I was enslaved,” Drakkal began.
“Yes, and that she died in the raid.”
“Well…I altered some of the details.”
Drakkal told Arcanthus the real story, the whole story, just as he’d told Shay. The words came easier than he’d expected, and Arcanthus—surprisingly—refrained from comment until Drakkal finished describing the upper city encounter with Vanya.
“Hmm,” was Arcanthus’s only reply for several seconds. He brought his hands together, pressing the tips of his pointer fingers against one another and tapping them on his lips. “Icouldgo on for some time about how, despite all your talk of trust and openness and honesty between us, you’ve been keeping the truth of this from me for…what? Fourteen years? Fifteen?”
Drakkal nodded. “At least. And you could go on. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“All this time, and I thought you’d simply loved and lost.”
Shrugging, Drakkal turned his palms toward the ceiling. “I thought the same, in my own way. But I never really loved Vanya. I loved the idea of her. Thought she was the ideal female.”
“I know for a fact that thinking that way didn’t ease your pain.”
“No, it really didn’t. I was young and dumb. Hadmy head full of these old azheran ideals that probably never really meant much to begin with.”
Now Arcanthus shrugged. “You were young, and you didn’t have the older, grumpier version of yourself to tell youdon’t be stupid.”
“Sure didn’t. But what I have with Shay now…it’s real, Arc. There’s no question of it. She’s my mate, and Leah’s my cub, and I love them both.” Drakkal’s chest tightened with another surge of longing. He still didn’t know how he could miss his terrans so thoroughly knowing they were only a minute or two away, but he felt their absence fiercely.
“I know.” Arcanthus moved a hand up to sweep a few rogue locks of dark hair out of his face, tucking them behind one of his horns. “And for some reason, tossing all this in your face feels…wrong. You must’ve caught me on an off night. You get off easy this time.”
Drakkal laughed; the sound released a little of his tension. “Lucky me.”
Arcanthus’s tail shifted restlessly over the couch cushion beside him. “Answer a question for me.”
“What?”
“Is there a particular means by which you’d like Vanya killed?”
Perhaps it was the directness of the question that threw Drakkal off-guard; he certainly shouldn’t have been surprised, knowing Arc as well as he did.