They’ve got Grayson stabilized for the moment. He sits cross legged beside me with the witch’s grimoire open to a dog-eared page and their attention on me
The cup of tea in my lap has long since chilled.
The same cold animates me.
“You don’t have to tell us what happened,” Aimee says.
Trying to be gracious when we all know I’m the one with secrets.
We’ve already gone over the cabin, the search party, the attack on Ironwood. Now they want to know why, and the time is—the edge of the guillotine brushes my neck, and the truth has to come out. There’s no more hiding it. Why does the thought fill me with equal measures of relief and sickness?
“Only if you’re up to it, Mandi.” But Grayson’s eyes tell me to be strong.
To let it all out.
There’s no better place, no better time, even if I’d been waiting for the perfect set of circumstances.
I set him with a brittle smile and wrap my fingers tighter around the mug of chamomile. “I’m moonlocked. As the witches know. Um. It, ah?—”
The truth.
Words bubble out of me and tumble over each other in their rush to exit.
“It means I can’t shift. I’ve never been able to. The wolf inside me is there, but no matter how many full moons pass, or things we try, nothing works. I’m stuck in human form. It’s a huge shame to my family and my, ah, my fiancé doesn’t know. My father decided to keep it from everyone.”
I bat my eyes open and force myself to look Grayson dead in the eyes. He weaves from side to side, a dull blankness threatening to overtake his features.
He gives me a nod.Continue.
Just like that.
This is what I wanted. No shame or judgment.
The truth, out there, with people who will listen and understand. But when I get to the worst part, what will they say then?
My stomach dives into the abyss and heat threatens to boil me alive.
“I was sick of it when I found you, Grayson. I’d gone out to watch the meteor shower but part of me wanted to make a run for it and find help on my own. Nothing had ever worked for me. But I found you, and you’d been attacked. Bitten.”
“I remember.” His voice is distant, his eyes closed, long lashes black against his tawny skin.
“What you don’t know…I heard a wolf howl before I saw you. Not any wolf. The stench, the feeling, it all points to the same thing. The wolf that bit you had moon madness. So…you also have it, triggered by your first change. Judging from the way your body is fighting it off, we’re running out of time to find you a cure.”
My wound pulses and reminds me of the trickle down. Grayson, his shift triggering the spread of the disease, gave it to me.
He straightens, RJ breathing in deep and Aimee stifling a cry of surprise.
There. I said it.
“I wasn’t sure of it before. I had my suspicions, but when the curse didn’t take you down within a few hours, I thought we were safe. Until you finally shifted the other night.”
I’m the worst, and if Grayson had been angry with me for keeping this secret, I’d understand it so much better than the flash of pain in those brown eyes.
This sucks. I suck. A person who actually gave a shit about someone other than herself wouldn’t have piled up this many secrets.
Their eyes crawl over my skin in a reminder. They’re waiting. I started this, and now it’s up to me to finish it, no matter how much it costs me.
“You’ve been infected, Grayson,” I whisper. “I’m sorry. The moon madness will eventually take us both. I should have told you right away.”