"Her daddy is out there and is alert, trust me," I said, looking at him sitting at a table with his brothers. He looked good. His hair had grown out on his face, and he looked thicker, like he'd been working out. I didn't stare long or let my thoughts wander too far down that road. But I saw him. The way he sat and watched everything around him. More present. Less restless. Like life had slowed him down in a way he couldn't outrun anymore. I didn't feel responsible for that version of him anymore. That was his work now. His growth. His healing. That separation didn't feel cold. It felt right.
After a while of talking and drinking a couple of more drinks, we headed out to the yard. I stood off to the side, smiling as I watched Julise interact with her friends. She laughed loud, throwing her head back the way she used to when she was younger. There was no heaviness in her shoulders anymore. No quiet anger sitting behind her eyes. She looked like a girl her age again. That alone made everything worth it.
"She’s different," Amina said beside me, nudging my arm lightly. I glanced at her.
"Yeah," I said softly.
"That therapy did her good," Chiana spoke.
"It did," I nodded.
"But you did too." She finished
I shook my head slightly. "I just showed up."
Amina looked at me like she didn't believe that. "You did more than that," she said. I didn't argue with her. Not because I fully agreed, but because I no longer felt the need to explain myself. That was something new, too. Not needing to proveanything and be understood by everybody. Just knowing where I stood, and standing there.
Chiana came up on my other side, handing me another drink. "You deserve this," she said.
I looked down at the cup before taking it. "I know," I said, simply no longer hard for me to admit. Across the yard, Jules stood up from the table and walked over to where Julise and her friends were gathered. I watched him greet them, dapping up a couple of the boys, speaking to the girls respectfully, but still with that presence about him that let you know exactly who he was. Julise rolled her eyes at something he said, but I saw the small smile she tried to hide. That moment.. That balance. It mattered. Because even though we weren't together, we still showed up for them together. In a way that made sense. In a way that didn't confuse them. In a way that didn't force anything that no longer belonged.
I sipped from my drink, letting the taste settle on my tongue. The sun sat low in the sky now, casting a soft glow over everything. The music slowed down a bit. The energy shifted. Full day energy settling into evening peace. That’s how my life felt now.
I smelt him before I looked over and saw him. Jules was standing next to me now with a cup in his hand, watching the kids in the yard. “We did right by them, huh?" He questioned. I looked over at him and smiled.
"Yeah we did," I said. I let my eyes drift back out into the yard. The kids were everywhere.
Running.
Laughing.
Arguing.
Living.
Julise stood in the middle of it all, talking with her friends like she didn't carry the same weight she used to. Jezel was chasing after one of the girls, her laugh high and bright, cutting through the music. Juelz stood off to the side, trying to act too grown, but still checking in on everything like he always did. They were okay. That used to be my biggest fear. Not the divorce. Not what people would say. It was always them. How they would come out of all of this. How they would look at me. How they would carry it. I watched them now, really watched them, and realized they weren't carrying it the way I thought they would. They weren't broken. They weren't confused. They weren't lost.
They had adjusted.
They had grown.
They had found their footing just like I had. And somewhere in that, I realized something I hadn't said out loud before. I did what I was supposed to do. Not perfect. Not without mistakes. Not without hurting. But I showed up. And that was enough.
Beside me, Jules shifted his weight slightly. I could feel his presence without looking at him. It didn't make me tense anymore. It didn't make me question myself. It didn't make me feel pulled in two directions. It just existed. Like a chapter I had already read. Important. Necessary but no longer where I was.
"I ain't think it would look like this," he said after a while, his voice low.
I glanced over at him. “Like what?"
He let out a breath through his nose, shaking his head slightly. "Peaceful."
It wasn't something we had known how to do together. Not back then. Back then, everything was loud. Love was loud. Arguments were loud. Passion was loud. Even the silence had weight to it. Now, everything felt different. It was quieter and steady. "It took time," I said.
He nodded. “I know. I be thinking about that sometimes," he added. "How we used to be.” I did too. Not in a way that made me want to go back. Just in a way that acknowledged what it was.
"We were young," I said finally.
He huffed out a small laugh. "Yeah... we was."