I flick my eyes at him once and then avert them back to my hands, focusing on putting on my gloves. “Hmm,” I grunt in response, fisting and un-fisting my hand.
“You’ve got to stop it, Noah. It’s scaring the guys. In all the time we’ve known you, it hasn’t been this bad,” he points out, concern evident in his tone as his eyes scan me up as if that’ll give him an insight into what’s going on. He sidles up closer to me, so only I can hear. “You know you can tell me anything, right. What’s wrong, Noah?” he clasps my shoulder, squeezing it to encourage me to open up.
What would I even tell the man? That I fucked your sister and broke her heart after she trusted me with her body. That I’m an asshole who brought tears to her beautiful eyes.
No, I can’t.
For once in my life, I wish I were this gloomy because of my dad’s call or something. And not because I stole the smile from Andie’s face.
The thought reminds me of the fucking cause behind it all. His fucking call right in the morning. The morning when I should’ve wokenher up with my mouth between her legs.
He ruinseverything.
He steals everything, even when he doesn’t realize it.
My family is a curse. He’s fucking poison, bleeding into my life, seeping into every bridge I build and destroying it, leaving me helpless, lonely, and too fucking scared to be happy.
The melancholy converts to rage, flowing into every vein in my body. Anger, that’s good. That doesn’t make me wanna hole up and drown in a bottle.
Fury makes me wanna obliterate everything in my path. It gives me something else to focus on other than Andie’s sad fucking expression.
“Dude?” Ezra’s voice travels past my thoughts, pulling me out of my mind.
My gaze turns to him, body vibrating with the need to crush something. “I’m fine. Let’s fucking win.” That’s all I say before grabbing my helmet and striding right out of the locker room and on the ice with the intention to bury every fucker who thinks they can get their puck past me and into the net.
I’m a fuckingwall.
* **
“Cheers!” The guys yell over the loud thumping music as we find ourselves seated inThe Tapafter scoring a W.
I had no plans to show up here today, wanting to ruminate in my misery alone. But since the moment I heard Ezra talking to Kaeli on his phone and eavesdropped on their conversation in hopes of getting any crumb of information about Andie, I’ve been glued to his side.
Apparently, Kaeli was telling him that she’s showing up with Andie and one other friend whose name I don’t care to remember.
The mood and lighting are what you’d expect at a sports bar.
I swirl the glass of beer in my hand, barely taking a sip as I tune into the conversation at our table. I’m sitting between Seb and Ezra as Levi, Oliver, and Lucas sit opposite us on the circular table.
Lucas leans in, his elbows on the table as he speaks, “Any of you heard the rumors lately?”
“You know we aren’t into that shit, Lucas. It’salways about some scandal that’s hardly true anyway,” Ezra scoffs, leaning back into the cushioned seat and taking a sip of his IPA, his foot tapping impatiently under the table—probably because he can’t wait to set his sights on his woman.
It’s understandable, though. Anyone in his position would be worried sick for their partner. The stalking and kidnapping almost stole Kaeli from him. So, seeing him eyeing the door every chance he gets only makes me feel bad for the dude.
I squeeze his leg under the table, and he gives me a grateful nod.
“Ooooh, I wanna know,” Seb chimes from my other side, splashing drops of beer on the table as he slams the glass a little too quickly.
“Of course, you do, Nosy,” Levi scoffs, eyeing a guy dancing with some woman. Bored, my gaze flicks over to the guy and finds him giving a flirty smile back. Levi is bisexual, proudly might I add. And I love that for the dude.
Accepting your sexuality in this world that can sometimes be too bigoted and small-minded isn’t easy. Especially when you play such a ‘manly’ game for a national team, you have theworld’s eyes on you. Always waiting for you to step out of the line so they can write up their next gossip blog.
Being open about it takes guts, too. So, I’m really honored and proud to know the man and be his teammate.
Levi winks back at the man, and we all know that’s who he is celebrating tonight’s win with.
Lucas takes this as the sign to share with us his less-than-confirmed information. “They’re saying Kyle’s up for trade next season.”