At the mention of my brother, my head falls forward as I stare into my lap, my hands fidgeting. I understand what he means. I understand not wanting to hurt him and betray his trust.
I can’t argue with Noah there, even if it hurts me too.
Ezra would never have to know. But I’ll never ask him to betray his principles or the people in his life he cherishes the most.
“But,” he swallows, “I hate the thought of you with someone who’s not me. I can’t fucking bear it!”
I suck in a sharp breath at his claim, my heart thumping at what this might mean. My headswivels to him, apprehensive of what I might find.
Noah gives me just a glance before he turns his face back to the road. But in that one look, I clock the desperate hunger in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, his own pulse jumping in his neck.
“You can’t?” I breathe out, my finger twirling a strand of my hair, my heart hoping against all odds.
“Fuck, no, I can’t, Andie!” He chuckles, but it’s hollow.
I don’t even realize when we’re at my apartment, but soon he pulls up to the curb and stops right in front.
His head drops on the steering wheel, the muscles of his back flexing under his shirt. “What do I do, Andie?” He bares his struggle in his gruff voice.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Noah,” I whisper, my shoulders dropping. It’s true, though, I can’t decide anything for him. It has to be his choice.
He sighs at my answer, and when he doesn’t speak for a minute, I nod to myself and open the door of the car.
The second I turn to get off, his hand shoots out to grab my arm. “Wait,” he almost yells.
“Yeah?” Fire of hope flares in my chest as I glance between his eyes and catch him doing the same.
His jaw grinds and shoulders tighten. “I did promise you that I’ll help you explore sex,” he muses.
“You did,” I agree, anticipation curling around my stomach.
“And I’m a man of my word, no matter what.” His hold on my arms tightens, not enough to hurt me but enough to seem like he’s looking for strength.
“You are,” I nod.
He pulls me inside, the door of the car shutting behind me as my breath hitches at his sudden movement.
Our noses are just a hair’s breadth away, my mouth opening on a gasp, as my eyes fall on his lips. I could so easily touch them with mine. But his‘no-kissing’rule rings loud and clear in my head.
Noah leans forward and whispers, “I’ll do it. I’ll have sex with you.”
His words cause my stomach to hollow out with excitement. “You will?” I confirm. “You sure?”
“I am. I’m sure Ezra wouldn’t want you goingaround strange men either. Who knows what kind of guys are out there, preying on women,” he reasons, his pupil dilating.
I arch an eyebrow at him. “I’m not a damsel in distress.”
His lips twitch at the attitude I give him, his rough palm still burning my arm, heat spreading to the parts of my body that it has no business spreading. “No, but youarea stunning damsel,” Noah says it so casually in that husky voice of his, as if he didn’t just give me a compliment I rarely receive.
Surprised, I breathe out, “Thank you.” When I take a breath in, this time my nostrils fill with his scent. Discreetly, I take another sniff of his smoked vanilla, leather, and amber smell.
Nuts on a cracker, he smells so manly and mysterious.
Just like the way he is. Hiding so much from the world under his caring and kind persona, which he doesn’t even realize he’s donning.
Noah removes his hand from mine and pulls back, staring right ahead through the windshield and into the evening sky, and even though I miss his touch, I pull back too.
I clear my throat and ask, “Would you like tocome in?”