After all, he did make it clear that he doesn’t date. So, having intimate relations with his best friend’s sister is hardly ideal.
My lips stretch into a tight smile as I assure Ezra, “Of course, not. The more the merrier.”
With a nod, my brother goes back to making the pancakes, while Noah and Kaeli both narrow their eyes at me as if they can see through my lie.
Clearing my throat, I shift the focus from me. “So, tell me something new,” I say, looking at Kaeli.
“Oh, the usual. Managing the team’s social media and taking a weekly online therapy session with my parents,” she replies, waving her hand in the air.
I take her hand in mine, gently squeezing it. “How’s it going?” I ask softly.
“Better than I expected,” she admits, with hope shining in her eyes. She has already suffered for one lifetime, and my only prayer to God is to keep her happy and safe.
“That’s great,” I express, observing Ezra observe her, his eyes glimmering with the love he has for her.
I love them together. But somewhere deep inside, I envy what they have. And that drowns me deeper into the shame I harbor. Because I know I’m nothing like the woman Kaeli is.
She’s stunning, smart, and a total badass who stands her own ground. I’m just a law school dropout who teaches second graders and whose body doesn’t even fit the social standards.
I hate myself for thinking any of it.
And yet, I can’tnot.
“What about you? How’s school?” Ezra asks as he finally serves us the pancakes. Kaeli gets up to get the toppings and sets them on the table one by one. I extend my hand to grab the maple syrup, and so does Noah.
A shot of electricity travels through my body at the slight contact, my eyes widening at thesensation as we pull it back. Noah picks it up and keeps it in front of me. “Go ahead,” he murmurs softly.
“Thank you,” I whisper, grabbing it and pouring the syrup on my meal. Finding Ezra looking at me expectantly from the head of the table to my left, I remember he asked me a question. “Ughh, don’t remind me of school. The Vice Principal is after my job,” I sigh, stuffing a large bite into my mouth.
Ezra’s eyes instantly turn to slits, his body tensing, his hand stopping mid-bite. “I hope they’re not bothering you?” he grits between his teeth, and Noah’s eyes furrow, though I can’t discern the emotion behind them.
Grasping his meaning without having to mull over it, I wave my hand in the air as I ease his worries. “Oh no, nobody’s bothering me. Just giving me responsibilities, I don’t think I’m ready to shoulder,” I explain, taking another big bite.
“Oh, what are they making you do?” Ezra asks, chewing his pancake, the tension receding from his body.
“They’re asking me to do the end-of-year showcase for all of second grade.” With a sigh, Ilean my back against the chair.
“And that’s an issue because…?” Kaeli lets that hang in the air, sitting on my right.
“Chocolate on a pie! Because it’s not my job!” I whine, and a second of silence ensues before Kaeli and Ezra burst into laughter. Even Noah’s lips slightly twitch, though he thinks he’s being sly in hiding it.
My face flushes when I realize I’m in the company of his friend. Sitting straighter in my chair, I rephrase my complaint, “I’m bothered because it’s unusual for a teacher on contract with just a few months of teaching experience to take on such a task alone.”
“They’re not providing you any sort of assistance?” Kaeli follows up, her brow cocked up in annoyance on my behalf.
My eyes fall shut when I imagine the workload. “No,” I heave a tired sigh.
“Do you want me to talk to them?” Ezra offers, his meal almost finished.
I look at him appalled. “Why must everyone think of me as a child? I’m not! I don’t need you totalkto anyone on my behalf,” my voice stern as I scold my older brother.
His eyes widen as if he doesn’t understand whatI mean. “What? It wouldn’t do any harm?”
“Ezra,” Kaeli just has to take his name for him to sit quietly and raise his hand in surrender.
I drop my spoon in the plate and look at him earnestly, hoping he’d understand what I want him to. Because I know his heart is in the right place. “Ezra, I love you for wanting to make things easier for me and fight my battles,” I say, squeezing his hand on the table. “But I need to be able to do things on my own. I need to prove to the world, to the school, and, most importantly, to myself that I can do it. That I’menough,” I emphasize.
He opens his mouth to protest when Noah cuts him off after wiping his mouth with a napkin, and suddenly, all I can focus on are his full, juicy lips. Lips I’d very much like to taste.