Rafe steps back, calmly wiping the blade on Enzo’s shirt before tucking it away. He adjusts his cuffs like he didn’t just end alife. Blood speckles his hands, his sleeve, the side of his neck. He looks entirely unfazed, which is somehow even more horrifying.
My ears ring, and my vision tunnels. The room feels like it’s closing in around us.
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Micah’s hands grip my elbows, steadying me before I realize I’m swaying. His breathing is tight. Heather hasn’t let go of my hand. Her grip hurts, but I don’t pull away.
Rafe turns toward us. Specifically, towardme. “This,” he says evenly, “is the reality you’re walking into. People in this world kill without a goddamn care.”
Each word hurts.
“Death is sudden,” he continues. “Violence is easy.”
My lungs burn. I drag in shallow, panicked breaths, my chest heaving.
“You get used to it,” Rafe says. “You have to. Because your boy is already living in this unpredictable world. Got that?”
Adela watches me closely now. Her expression is blank, like she’s expecting me to react. I don’t, though. I just close my mouth and stare at them.
Rafe steps closer, the coppery smell of blood following him. “If you’re going to save Jude,” he says quietly, gently raising a bloody hand to caress my jaw. “You need to understand what kind of monsters you’re up against. And I’m a perfect example.”
My legs tremble.
I don’t know if we can survive this.
And if we do? We'll never be the same.
Chapter twenty
JUDE GRAVES
These fuckers don’t ever let me rest. My arms shake as I wipe blood from my mouth with the back of my hand. I don’t know if it’s mine or someone else’s. It doesn’t matter at this point, honestly. They’re animals with dead eyes, sneering at me every time I stumble or allow a noise to escape my mouth.
Alexei’s basement is purposefully cold. Anything to add to my discomfort, apparently. He demanded that Nolan and Adriana stay behind tonight, since Adriana cries every time I get beaten up. Which is a lot. He’s getting annoyed with her. Plus, Nolan seemed to have some kind of emergency going on, barking at us to leave him alone while he sorts some shit out. He had his phone to his ear and was chewing someone’s ass out.
So, unfortunately, I’m alone here tonight with Alexei watching from the edge of the room, studying me too much. Two of his men drag someone forward. It’s a man in civilian clothes—jeans and a thin black leather jacket. His shoes scuff as they shove him to his knees. He raises his head and looks at me, his blue eyes widening with terror. His mouth opens like he wants to speak, but no sound comes out. His messy blonde hair is matted with blood already, as if the men got too carried away when bringing him in.
They’re fucking monsters who drool over the coppery scent of it. Worse than sharks, these guys.
My pulse starts to roar in my ears. I already know what Alexei wants.
“????????,” Erik says, eerily casually.Kill.
I step forward, my hand tightening around the gun they shoved into it earlier. It feels slightly heavier than it should be. Or maybe my arms are just tired. My ribs ache every time I breathe.
The man shakes his head, pleading. I squeeze my eyes shut, attempting to disconnect. Dissociate.Something. I don’t move fast enough, because when I open my eyes, Alexei’s there. He stops beside me, close enough that I can smell his cologne.
“You hesitate,” he says calmly.
My jaw locks.
The man on the floor starts crying. Quiet, whimpering sounds, like he’s trying not to be heard. Like that alone might save him. I don’t even know who this man is or why they’ve decided that his life should end tonight. I don’t ever care to know now, really. I don’t want to be able to put names to faces because I’ve made the mistake of looking people up and seeing that they had a family. Pictures of beautiful wives and smiling children with the father that I shot or stabbed or beat to death.
I hate what I’ve become.
Alexei turns his head slightly, studying my face. “That makes you unreliable.”
I swallow.