One of his men steps forward. The punch comes fast and hard enough to snap my head to the side. White explodes behind my eyes. Pain blooms immediately, radiating through my jaw, my skull, and my neck.
I taste blood.
Another hit lands before I can recover. Then another. Then a knee slams into my ribs, knocking the air from my lungs in a strangled wheeze. I sag, gasping, vision tunneling.
Alexei sighs. “Stand him up.”
They haul me upright, fingers digging into bruises and tender flesh. I’m barely standing when the next blow lands. Pain lances through my abdomen. I fold forward instinctively, but someone yanks my shoulders back until something in my bodytears.
I scream then. I can’t stop it.
Alexei smiles. “There it is,” he says softly. “Thatlovelysound.”
Another punch. Another. A fist to my kidney that makes my legs buckle completely. My vision fractures, black creeping in at the edges. I welcome it. I try to let go.
But they won’t fucking let me.
Cold water slams into my face, shocking me back. I choke, coughing violently.
“Stay with us, little rockstar,” Alexei says. “This part matters.”
I lift my head just enough to look at him. That’s a mistake.
He nods once, and the next blow cracks across my cheekbone. Something pops. Pain detonates so bright it makes me dizzy. Ifeel myself slipping again—mind drifting, body screaming. I go somewhere else. I think of warmth. Of hands that never hurt me.
Alexei grips my chin, forcing my head up. His thumb presses into a sore spot until stars burst behind my eyes. “You see,” he murmurs, close now, breath warm against my ear, “I need to break you.” He pauses. “Touseyou.” He steps back. “Again.”
And they do. Until my body is nothing but pain and instinct and the thin, fragile thread of consciousness I cling to with everything I have left. I don’t know how long it lasts. I only know that when they finally leave, when the door slams shut and the light disappears, I’m left in the dark—shaking, bleeding, breathing in shallow, broken pulls. I don’t cry or beg.
I dissociate so hard I barely know my own name anymore.
My body betrays me before they even come back. It starts with the shaking, a deep, bone-level tremor that rattles my teeth and makes my muscles clench and unclench without permission. Sweat slicks my skin even though the room is cold. My stomach cramps sharply, like it’s trying to fucking eat itself.
Withdrawal.
I know the signs too well. My heart kicks fast and hard, mimicking a full-blown anxiety attack. My skin crawls, as if something is alive beneath it, desperate to get out. I gag, dry-heaving until my throat burns. Nothing comes up. There’s nothinginme.
That’s the point.
I lose time again until I hear the door. I don’t lift my head this time, because I don’t have the strength.
Alexei clicks his tongue when he sees me shaking. “Already?” he says, mildly impressed. “You’re worse than I expected.” Hecrouches in front of me, eye level now. I can feel him there without looking. “Do you know why I let you have it?” he asks.
I don’t answer. My jaw clenches so hard it hurts. My whole body feels like it’s screaming for something I refuse to ask this fucking asshole for.
He chuckles. “Not kindness. Not mercy.” He leans closer. “It’sconditioning.”
He nods for one of his men to step forward.
I flinch when I see the needle. And hate myself for it.
One man grips my arm hard while the other slides the needle in. The burn hits first. Then the rush.
God.
It’s instant. Warmth unfurls through my veins, quieting the rioting nerves. The shaking eases, and the pain dulls. My thoughts slow, syrup-thick and heavy as hell. Relief crashes into me so hard it almost makes me cry.
Alexei watches my face like he’s studying a reaction in a lab rat. “There,” he says softly. “Better.”