Micah raises a brow. “One song?”
I nod, handing them both charcoal. “That’s it. Give me that much.”
Jude looks at me long and hard, eyes searching mine for an ulterior motive. When he finds none, he leans back and says, “Okay.”
“What song?” I ask.
He huffs, running his tongue along his teeth in thought. “Can You Feel My Heart,” he says finally.
The title alone makes my chest ache. “Bring Me the Horizon?”
He nods once.
I find the song on my phone and hit play. The first electronic pulse fills the room, and I immediately feel a shiver run down my spine. I think back to when I walked in once while he was workingout to this song at his home gym. His parents weren’t home and he fucked me in the shower afterwards. His muscles were still swollen from the workout...
I have to clear my throat to keep from vividly picturing the entire thing.
The sound hits like a savage punch. Jude’s shoulders tense, and his fingers curl around the charcoal stick. Micah starts slower, sketching rough outlines with his. Jude hesitates before dragging a streak of black across the canvas. His movements are jagged at first. They’re angry, almost desperate, but slowly they find rhythm with the music.
I stand beside Heather, both of us quiet as we watch them.
Jude’s strokes darken, black bleeding into gray. The stick shakes in his hand. His breathing changes, becoming heavier. He wipes his wrist across his cheek, leaving a streak of charcoal there. Micah continues beside him, steadier. A hurricane next to calm water.
Heather whispers beside me, “This is...incredible.”
I nod, unable to look away. “It’s pain,” I murmur. “Translating itself.”
The chorus rises, raw and pulsing.
Micah’s work starts to take shape—a faceless figure standing in the heavy rain. Jude’s canvas, though, is chaos. Dark spirals devouring a center of light, like something beautiful being swallowed whole.
When the final line echoes, Jude drops the stick. It clatters against the table, leaving his hand stained in darkness. He stares down at his work like it’s something that’s betrayed him. His expression is one I almost recognize. Silence follows, highlighting their ragged and very human breathing.
Heather clears her throat quietly. “That was one hell of a song.”
Jude doesn’t respond. His gaze is still on the sketch, on the black void eating through the light. And in that moment, I see the smallest flicker of the boy who used to play guitar in his room andlaugh between verses. The boy who told me he loved me like he wanted to spend forever with me.
Heather straightens, voice calm. “She cares for you, Jude.”
His gaze snaps to her, and she meets it head-on, unflinching.
Micah shifts beside him, uneasy. “Hey, man, maybe—”
But Jude cuts him off with a glare, then turns back to me. “You have no fucking idea who I am anymore. That boy who used to paint and talk about his feelings is fucking dead, Emma.” His voice is flat yet quietly venomous.
My throat tightens. “I don’t believe that.”
He laughs, and it’s a short, bitter sound. “You always see the best in people, even when they don’t deserve it. And you know what?” He tilts his head. “It’s going to destroy you one day.”
“Shut the hell up, Jude,” I say quietly. “I’m no longer that weak girl you once knew.”
He flinches like the words hit him. For a moment, it’s all there in his eyes: grief, guilt, fury, loss. Then he looks back at his work, jaw clenching. I sigh and stare at it over his shoulder, seeing everything his soul poured out. It’s our complicated past and all of the love we once felt for each other, shrouded in a darkness that won’t let him go. It’s heartbreak and fear and so much love I have to turn away for a moment.
Heather’s eyes dart to me, watching as I take a moment to get my shit together.I’m supposed to be stronger than this.
She clears her throat and moves toward Micah. “Let’s go back to the couches,” she says gently.
Micah nods and follows her, still shooting worried looks at Jude. Heather says something to him, and he huffs in amusement. She glances up at him, smiling in a way that’s softer than I’ve ever seen from her. But my attention’s still on Jude.