Silence settles between us as I think about how worse off I am than Micah. I use more. I spiral more. But I guess it’s understandable considering I fucking kill people. My phone buzzes on the counter. For a second, hope flares. But it’s Adriana. The name makes my stomach sink.
ADRIANA
Nolan wants a meeting today at 2. Don’t be as fucked up as last night.
I sigh, and text back.
Why? He never gives a shit if I’m high or not.
Within moments, my phone vibrates again.
ADRIANA
Alexei is going to be there. He’s stricter. And believe it or not, Jude, I give a shit about you. Alexei’s men are scary.
I chew my lip as I contemplate her message. Ifsheis nervous, that’s not good. Alexei is a much bigger player in the world of criminal activity. He makes Nolan look like the neighborhood drug dealer standing beside a cartel member.
Okay, I’ll be there.
ADRIANA
See you there, baby ;)
I set my phone aside and rub my face. “I am apparently meeting with Alexei today.”
Micah freezes. And he’s probably thinking what I am.What does he want me to do for him now?
The Wednesday afternoon traffic is unusually and annoyingly busy in Portland when I pull into the underground garage beneath Nolan’s building. My stomach twists the whole elevator ride up. By the time I reach the penthouse hallway, I already know something is off.
Adriana opens the door before I can knock. She looks wired and exhausted at the same time, like she hasn’t slept but is somehow still buzzing. She grabs my sleeve and pulls me inside without a word. Nolan is at the dining table, sitting ramrod straight. It’s weird for him. His jaw works like he’s grinding his teeth. Henods at me but doesn’t smile. That alone makes my skin crawl. Then, I see them.
Two men I’ve never met stand by the floor-to-ceiling windows, shoulders squared, arms folded behind their backs. They definitely look like ex-military. Cleaner than thugs, calmer than dealers. Their eyes don’t blink much.
Alexei sits between them, relaxed in a leather chair. He doesn’t stand or greet me. Instead, he lifts his eyes and studies me with a horrifying patience that turns my insides to ice. “Mr. Graves,” he says, with a grim smile. “Come in. Welcome to my Portland home.”
Adriana lets go of my sleeve. She steps aside, rubbing her arms. Nolan rises, but his hands tremble slightly, and he quickly laces them behind his back to hide it.
When I sit, Alexei’s gaze tracks every movement like he’s reading me more thoroughly than any drug test ever could. It’s the men behind him that scare me the most. Their stillness. Their certainty. Like they’ve taken lives and felt nothing.
“You know why I wanted to see you,” Alexei begins.
I swallow. “No.”
He smiles, just barely. “You killed for me,” he says softly. “Impressively, I might add.”
The memory slams into me, and I hold his gaze.
Alexei continues, his voice mockingly warm. “You handled yourself better than I expected. And you proved something important. You are a man who is willing to do what needs to be done. And that anger?” He raises his dark brows. “Lethal.”
My chest tightens. I want to deny it, to explain that I’ve been operating on pure self-preservation. And that my anger doesn’t control me anymore. But I can’t say any of that.
“I can use a man like you,” he says, his Russian accent thick as hell. “Someone with reach. Someone no one would suspect. Someone who understands pressure. Not to mention, you’re accustomed to traveling.”
Adriana shifts her weight anxiously, chewing the inside ofher cheek. Nolan’s expression is fixed, but sweat beads at his temple.
I lick my lips. “What’s going on? What exactly do you want from me?”
“That is therightquestion, boy.” Alexei leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Your lifestyle gives you access. Hotel staff. Fans. Industry people. Drivers. Crew members. Every day, you casually cross paths with opportunities none of my men ever get near. And I have several...issues in Portland that you can help me with.”