The moment his mouth touched hers, her heart thudded out of control. More than anything she wanted a night with him, wanted to ask him in, but she intended to stick with her promise to herself to say goodbye to him at her door. He deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking hers, slowly and sensually, and she could barely remember what promise she was thinking about. He was aroused, ready to make love, and she, too, ached to take him to her bedroom and have another night like before.
She didn’t know how long they had kissed when she finally looked up at him. She had no idea where her next words came from. “I better go in now.”
He stared at her, his hot gaze filled with desire that wrapped itself around her and held her in its spell. Stepping out of its heat, she turned to walk onto her porch. Reluctantly he followed.
When they entered the house, the dogs greeted them. She turned them into the fenced yard, closed the door and faced him.
Though he didn’t ask for one, she wanted to give him an explanation.
“Tony, we both agreed last weekend was an anomaly. As special as it was, it’s over and we need to leave it over. I don’t want an affair and I don’t think you do, either. With our families intermarried, we would complicate our lives. We’re not really all that compatible anyway. I’m too serious for you and you’re too much a playboy for me. If I have an affair, I want it long-term, with commitment. You’re not the type for that.”
“Don’t second-guess me, Lindsay. You’re incredibly desirable.”
“Do you really want us to get deeply involved?”
He inhaled and gazed at her while seconds ticked past.
“I think that’s an answer,” she said, “and I agree with it.”
“There will never be a time when I can look at you and honestly say I don’t want you. I—” He stopped when she placed her fingers against his lips.
“Shh. Don’t say things that you don’t really know.”
Kissing her fingers before she took them away, he nodded as he released a breath. “Okay, so we say good-night now. But I’m not going without a goodbye kiss.”
He reached out to take off her hat and toss it onto a nearby chair along with his. “Hats get in the way sometimes,” he said as he pulled loose the silk scarf that held her hair behind her head and dropped it into her hat. She shook her head and her hair swung across her shoulders to frame her face.
“You’re beautiful, Lindsay,” he whispered before his mouth covered hers. He kissed her hard, a passionate kiss that tempted her to throw away common sense and invite him upstairs for one more fabulous night.
She felt his arousal, knew he was as ready to make love as she.
But suddenly, before she could speak, he released her. “Good night, Lindsay. If I don’t go right now, I won’t go at all. I know what you really want is for me to leave.” Before she could move, he turned and hurried out the door.
She fled to her bedroom before she called him to come back. Her heart pounded and she ached with longing for him. How could she feel this way about Tony? A Milan, and her nemesis for so many years?
She had to get beyond this heart-pounding reaction she had to him. She couldn’t afford to see him again because each time bound her more closely to him.
He had walked out of her life tonight and there wasn’t any reason for him to come back into it. At least not in the immediate future. Things would always happen that would cause them to see each other, but her usual encounters with Tony had been only three or four times a year.
When she had asked him if she could come to his ranch and look at one of his pumps, the question had made him angry. Would he be even angrier if she actually went to his ranch? He probably would, but she was going anyway to see for herself whether he had been truthful. It had been ingrained in her by her family not to trust a Milan and she found it difficult to trust Tony on ranch matters.
And personal matters? After last weekend, she might have to answer that question differently.
She lay across the bed, the lights out, and as thoughts of Tony swirled in her mind, she knew she’d never sleep tonight. Not when she was wishing she were with him, in his arms, naked beside him. Would he sleep? Knowing him, she figured he’d sleep like a bear in winter.
She closed her eyes against the tears that stung them. Tony was out of her life—where he should be. There was no way they had any future as a couple. She’d accomplished all she’d set out to do that night at the bachelor auction. She’d bid on him to butter him up, to make him more amenable. At least that seemed to have worked. With any luck, the fights had stopped orat least changed to simple quarrels. If that had happened, it all would have been worthwhile.
There’d be no more calls from Tony after tonight. The thought swept her with a sense of loss. She shook her head as if she could shake away the feeling. How long would it take her life to get back to normal?
Five
He hadn’t been ready to tell her goodbye tonight. The whole time he’d cruised down the driveway he’d watched her house in the rearview mirror, fighting the urge to turn around.
If he let himself, Tony could envision the scene clearly. He’d stop sharply, his tires spewing dirt and gravel as he spun around and gunned his engine. When he pulled up at her back porch, she’d be there throwing open the door, and she’d run to him just as he stepped out of the truck. He’d pick her up in his arms and carry her back into her house, right up to her bedroom. They wouldn’t say a word to each other; they wouldn’t need to. They’d simply make love. And it would be amazing.
A nice image, he had to admit. But one that wouldn’t happen.
Instead, he drove the pickup onto the county road toward his own ranch.