“But if they already have photos?” Cassie says, and the new fragility in her tone suggests the reality of the situation has finally sunk in. “They’ll just know we’re lying about my being here.”
“Not lying. Just not talking,” Kevin clarifies with a finger point.
“Jesus, fuck!” I stand up and go to the minibar. When I look up as I open the fridge, I see three pairs of concerned eyes on me. I get a Coke out and wave it at them. “Everybody stand down. The alcoholic has not fallen off the wagon. Yet.”
“I don’t think people will jump to conclusions unless we give them a reason to,” Martin says when I’m sitting again next to Cassie, specifically with her next to my good ear. “So Kevin’s right. You two need to stay the fuck away from each other.”
In my peripheral vision, I am aware of Cassie turning towards me, but I don’t look back. I can’t face seeing if she is as upset at such an idea as I am.
“We’re both on tour on other sides of the world,” I say, reaching across Cassie for my cigarettes on the nightstand.
“Yes, and that’s how it has to stay,” Kevin says, and his gaze fixes on Cassie. “Even if I’m coming to see Martin, you have to stay in North America.”
Cassie’s shoulders sink. I stop trying to light a cigarette, and I gather both her hands in mine.
“But we have nearly two months to go before we’re both back in LA,” she says, almost too softly for me to hear her.
Martin and Kevin share a look. “We know it’s difficult,” Martin says. I’ve never heard him sound so … tender.
“What if we don’t?” Cassie asks slowly, carefully.
“What do you mean?” Kevin asks, and he’s dropped Martin’s hand now, his arms crossed over his chest, those secret biceps bulging.
“What if we don’tnotsee each other.” Cassie squeezes my fingers. “What if we just … do what we want?”
The look she gives me – big, searching blue eyes, raised brows, lifted chin – is so full of hope and courage, I immediately want to envelop her in my arms. Yes, because I’m proud, but also because I want to steal some of it.
“And what? Let the papers come to the correct conclusion that…” Martin starts.
“That you and Pia are … a thing?” Kevin finishes.
A thing. I wrinkle my nose at him because that doesn’t even come close. I refuse to define it myself, but I know what we’re not, and that’s “a thing.”
“Would that be so bad?” Cassie asks, and she’s never sounded more innocent.
Martin’s laugh is humourless and ugly, but when nobody joins in, he slams his mouth shut. “Oh, youareserious.”
Cassie turns her body towards me. “What do you think, Pia?”
I swallow before speaking, even though that buys me no time. I still don’t know what to say. “I think…”
“Wait!” Kevin claps his hands, and it changes the energy in the room instantly. All our eyes land on him as he claps them again. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner!”
“Please share it with the class,” I deadpan, finally lighting my cigarette.
“We say that Cassie is here to see one of the guys,” he says with a smug grin, like he’s just achieved world peace.
“One of which guys?” Cassie asks, but I know what he means. I hang my head, defeated at just the idea.
Martin turns to Kevin, saying, “You mean, Jakob or Geert?—”
“No fucking way!” I point my finger at him. “Not Geert.”
“Jon, then?” Kevin offers, like he’s a dish on a menu.
“You want me to pretend I came here to seeJon Davies?” Cassie says his name like he’s an infectious disease, which would make me laugh if I didn’t also feel like claws are digging through my ribs, reaching for my heart.
“It’s actually very clever.” Kevin marches to my minibar and helps himself to two beers. He returns and offers one to Martin, who shakes his head, then looks at me and changes his mind.