“Because she isn’t you,” I say with my best photoshoot smile.
Kevin’s composure cracks after a second, and his face creases into a smile that I have, admittedly, missed.
“So, what’s going on?”
“Where’s Pia?” I ask.
“Shit, they didn’t tell you?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “They’re stuck in Atlanta. Their connecting flight got cancelled.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, I’m waiting on another call in”–he shakes out his arm, revealing his watch–“ten minutes. Then I’ll hopefully know their ETA.”
“Oh, God, no,” I say, bringing a hand to my face. “She can’t miss the show.”
“She might.” Kevin winces. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”
“I can’t believe it,” I say, a little dazed as I step back to my chair and collapse in it. I feel sick at the idea of her not being here tonight. I feel sick at the idea of people thinking the worst of her, like my own bloody manager does. I feel sick at the possibility of singing our song and possibly accepting our award without her.
“You need a better way to manage this,” Kevin says, and I recognise that bossy tone. He’s acting like my manager again. “You and Pia. I get that you can’t be public, but you still have to find ways to communicate, to stay … connected.”
I look up at him. “We’re not like you and Martin. We can’t hide in the shadows.”
Kevin grabs the chair Lisette was sitting on and moves it closer before plopping down in it. “Believe me, I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to.”
A wave of confusing, conflicting emotions hit me. There’s the warmth of solidarity as I realise if Pia and I are in the same situation as Martin and Kevin, then there must be hundreds of thousands of other couples like us all over the world, who just want to live their lives, proudly. But with that comes a flash of pure anger. Because we shouldn’t have to hide. Not one of us.
“We’re going to talk,” I tell him. “Pia and me. When she’s back. When tonight’s all over. I just need tonight to be done, and then we can focus on each other again.”
“You know, I could help.” Kevin leans his elbows on his legs. “I know I have made mistakes in the past, but I always did what I thought was right for the band. And I’d do the same for you, Cassie. And with me and Martin, you and Pia … we could help each other. I swear it would make hiding everything so much easier.”
I can’t deny the points he’s making, even if I don’t know if I like them.
“I … I can’t make that kind of decision right now,” I tell him. All I can think about is Pia and how she’s not here and may miss the show completely.
“And I don’t expect you to. Just think about it.”
“Have you not had any better offers?” My single chuckle is laced in self-deprecation.
“Cassie…” Kevin levels his eyes on me. “I’ve had plenty of offers. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to accept just anything. I know what I want too.”
“And what’s that?”
“To make a difference. To leave my mark on the world. To give people music that will change their lives.”
“Wow, you don’t want much then,” I say with the same scoffing chuckle.
Kevin leans back in his chair. “I thought I was doing that with Evergreene,” he says. “There was so much energy in the beginning. We thought us Brits were going to come over here and shake up the whole US music industry. We were going to show the world our unique flavour of folk rock. We were going to write love songs that could be heartfelt and edgy and still musically solid.”
“But we didn’t do that?” I ask uncertainly.
“Oh, we absolutely did.Youdid, Cassie. I mean, yes, Stephan was part of it, in the beginning. But then we got the fame we wanted, and it all went tits-up. You were the only one staying true to the goal. The rest of them just wanted to get high or get laid or both.”
“Not Clarence,” I add.
“No, not Clarence, but by the time he joined, it was already a mess. I suppose bringing him in was my way of trying to go back to our roots, but … it didn’t work.”
Nostalgia floods me as I consider Kevin’s words. “It wasn’t all bad,” I say after a moment.